Who says Blacks have to be dark?
by nasher91
Summary: A new Black arrives at Hogwarts trying to decide her place in the war. Surely there's more to life than being a Death Eater, right? And who's the one determined to help her pick a side?
1. Chapter 1

"Joanna it appears your father has, for once, succeeded. As of next week you shall be attending Hogwarts. Do you remember your mission?" The voice chilled her but she forced her features to remain unchanged. He wasn't to know how much he effected her, how much she hated this.

"Yes my lord, I understand. I will start with the mudblood or perhaps the blood traitor…I hear he has an eye for pretty girls more so than usual recently. He would not pass up the opportunity to guide the new girl around."

He smirked at her and his laughter rang out, echoing around the small room, before dismissing her. She slipped out of the room as quickly as possible and made her way to her study where her parents were waiting. Her mother embraced her as she walked in. "What did he say Jo?"

"I am attending Hogwarts. The mission remains." She saw her father's eyes flicker shut in grief and wished she could reassure him. She had her own plans and Voldermort had just given her the way out of this hell-hole. "Father, may mother and I visit Diagon Alley tomorrow? I should like to begin my immersion with the other students as soon as possible and I believe that many of them will purchase their school supplies on this day." Her father nodded stiffly and swept out of the room to make preparations. Her mother, who had taken a seat on Joanna's bed, sighed sadly and motioned to her daughter to join her. Joanna sat next to her and allowed herself to be held for a while before speaking.

"He doesn't know, does he?" Her voice was quiet – their house had many spy areas and the women never knew when they were being monitored – but she knew from the stiffening from her mother's body that she had been right. Joanna sighed and pushed herself up from the bed. "I shall take dinner in my study tonight and retire early. I would like to be at Diagon Alley as soon as possible, if that is agreeable with you?" Her mother said nothing but squeezed her hand, indicating that she found no issue with the request, and left.

Joanna sighed as the door shut behind her mother and turned to the small pile of clothes in the corner of her room. "You can come out now Winky." A small house elf appeared and bowed low. "Thank you Winky. What did they discuss?"

Winky turned her large eyes upon the girl and squeaked out an earnest report. "Your father, miss, he is a bad man. He wants you to marry the Malfoy boy at Hogwarts miss."

Joanna rolled her eyes. Typical of her father to marry her off at the first opportunity and typical that it was another Death Eater's child. "What about mother?"

"She asked you father to be waiting miss. She told him that it would interrupt your mission to be friends with the Malfoy boy."

Joanna let out a bitter laugh at that. "Which mission would that be?" She said, asking herself more than Winky. Winky, having been taught Joanna's habit of asking herself questions, remained silent. "Thank you Winky, that is all. Remember you must tell nobody about this or allow them to work it out."

Winky bowed low again before apparating out of the study, finally leaving Joanna on her own. Joanna stared out of the window, considering everything that had happened up until now. She'd always known that her father had been a Death Eater as it had never been a secret. However she'd also always known that she would rather die than follow in his footsteps as he so hoped. It had only been recently that she'd discovered her mother had begun to feel the same as her. In the few times that her father allowed them out of the house alone the two of them discussed matters and, eventually, made contact with Dumbledore.

What had followed was a flurry of communication and a quick plan. Joanna was to suggest that she could attend Hogwarts and attempt to befriend the Golden Trio. Voldermort seized the chance to play with his favourite toy – Harry – and destroy his will by destroying his best friends. The few times he tried to read Joanna's mind regarding the plan – on the basis of getting further information about the plan or not understanding her reasoning for a part of it – she was able to shut herself off and plant different thoughts there. Thoughts of a fallen Potter and Voldermort as victor. So wrapped up in his own ego was he that Voldermort never thought to question it. She was, after all, a Death Eater's child and everyone knew that Death Eaters' children became Death Eaters themselves.

Winky had been lent to her by Dumbledore as a more effective means of communication. Her father had so many house elves and never bothered to actually look at them that he wouldn't notice another one. If anyone asked questions about her being nice to the house elves, Joanna would simply tell them she was practising for Hogwarts as she knew Granger was somewhat obsessed with treating them well.

She lay in bed some hours later and grinned to herself in the darkness. _Hogwarts._ She'd longed to go there ever since she was a little girl and overheard some children talking about it during a party. Her father had, much to her dismay, insisted on Durmstrang where the wizards were darker. And crueller. The rule of thumb was that you sent your children to be hardened to all things emotional and this would aid them in their service for Voldermort. And this had been true for the majority of students she had encountered at school. Except for one Viktor Krum. Krum had returned after the Tri Wizard Tournament and lashed out if anyone talked about joining Voldermort, even jokingly. She'd sought him out one evening and questioned him and he, seeing that she was being genuine, told her what had happened at Hogwarts. He told her about the Golden Trio as well, spending a particular amount of time discussing Hermione, and painted an entirely different picture to one she'd been given by her father and the other Death Eaters.

And now she was going to meet them. She was going to go to school with them. At Hogwarts. She let out a small excited squeal before remembering where she was and attempted to settle down for the night. The sooner she slept, the sooner she could get her school supplies and go to Hogwarts.


	2. Chapter 2

"Goodbye darling, we'll see you at Christmas. Don't forget to owl us when you get there." Her mother's eyes were clouded with tears as was usual for every send off of a new term. Her father was scanning the crowd. Joanna wondered who he was looking for when he pulled her into an unexpected hug.

"Don't forget your mission daughter. Do not fail. And if you get a chance, acquaint yourself with Lucius Malfoy's son."

"Yes father." Ah so that was why. Her father never hugged her unless he needed to relay secret information to her in a public place and urging her to seek out Draco was his motivation for this hug now. Not that anybody else would realise such; it simply looked like a father hugging his daughter goodbye.

"I must leave now or the train shall leave without me. Goodbye mother, father." Joanna waved awkwardly at them and patted her mother's arm before boarding the train and heading down toward the end of the train where she was certain she'd seen a small group of red heads board moments ago.

Sure enough she reached their carriage and found it was almost full. Almost was crucial to her at this point. She was determined to meet them before being housed just in case she was put in a different house to them. Taking a deep breath Joanna knocked on the door's glass window and waited until one of the red haired twins sat nearest noticed her and opened the door.

"Sorry to disturb you all. Could I possibly join you in here? All of the other carriages are either full or home to demonstrative couples." She added the extra bit in case one of them left and discovered empty carriages. A bushy haired girl near the window smiled and nodded towards the seat opposite her.

"That's fine, we understand about demonstrative couples _don't we Ronald?_" The last half of the girl's sentence was directed to another red head who blushed violently and spluttered his defence through a mouthful of cauldron cake. _Lovely_. "I'm Hermione by the way. The one _spitting food everywhere_ is Ronald. This is Harry," she pointed at the only other person in the carriage without red hair. Harry grinned and blushed a little as if expecting her to go overboard. _Poor guy_. "The twins are Fred and George. They don't actually go here but they're helping teach the Quidditch teams this year. And this," she finally pointed to the other girl in the carriage who was regarding her with unabashed curiosity and a small hint of suspicion, "is Ginny."

Everyone's eyes were on her. She found herself nervously tugging on the sleeve of her white shirt and smiled awkwardly. "Hi. I'm Joanna…" she allowed herself to trail off as if she'd just realised something. "Wait, did you say you were Harry, Ron and Hermione?" Harry winced slightly, anticipating a fan girl moment from her. _Oh how wrong you are wonder boy._ "As in the Harry, Ron and Hermione who know Viktor Krum?"

Hermione looked surprised but nodded slowly. "Yes we know Viktor. He was here a couple of years ago as part of the Tri Wizard Tournament. How do you know him?"

"We're friends from school. I attended Durmstrang with him. My mother wanted me to move someone where the people weren't so cruel and managed to arrange for me to attend here for the remainder of my schooling." Everyone seemed to settle down then as they all liked Viktor. Everyone except Ginny, who was still staring at her as if trying to work something out. "Is something the matter?"

Ginny frowned and spoke slowly, as if considering each word before she said them. Which she probably was. "I was just wondering," she said, "where you're from. You don't sound as if you live abroad. Your English is perfect."

"I live in Kent with my parents. My father wished for me to attend Durmstrang as it is where he attended when he was younger. It is also where he met my mother. I think he rather hoped I would meet a husband there."

Hermione looked shocked. "But you go to school to _learn_ not be matched up to a potential _husband_!"

Joanna smiled, liking Hermione already as she had guessed she would from Viktor's kind words, "my father is rather old fashioned like that. However I quite agree with you, as does my mother, which is why I'm attending here."

She finally took the seat opposite Hermione and quietly observed the other people in the carriage as they returned to their earlier conversations and activities. The twins were discussing Quidditch tactics they could teach. Harry and Ron were arguing about the worst Bertie Beans flavour ever invented, and Hermione was reading. Ginny was still watching her. Realising she was going to have to work a bit harder to endear herself to the girl, Joanna smiled and decided to begin a discussion with her. "So, Ginny, tell me about Hogwarts. Of course I've read Hogwarts: A History a million times but I would love to hear about it from an insider's perspective…"

The remainder of the journey passed quickly as Ginny, and eventually everybody else, told her all about Hogwarts. It sounded better than she'd dared hope for. They were approaching the station and changing into their robes when the door slid open and a tall, pale, blonde boy stepped into the carriage smirking. He was with two beefy-looking boys who appeared to believe they were body guards.

"Malfoy get out." Hermione spoke first, with the air of impatience that came from dealing with such scenarios one too many a time. It was only now that Joanna saw the Prefects badge glinting on her robes.

Malfoy, however, paid her no attention. He was, instead, busy looked at Joanna as if sizing her up. "You're new." It wasn't a question but Joanna found herself nodding anyway. "You obviously don't know the rules then. Potter and his lot are best avoided. I, however, am someone who you would benefit from spending time with."

Joanna bristled. She hated being told what to do, especially by arrogant idiots who didn't even know her. "And who might you be oh mighty one?" She asked, curtsying for added value. She saw Ron and Harry laugh quietly out of the corner of her eye.

Draco narrowed his eyes for a moment before recovering himself. "Draco Malfoy. And you are?"

"Joanna."

"Joanna what?"

"Just Joanna." She didn't want her name getting around, and she definitely didn't want her father to hear about her remark to her supposed 'future husband'.

One of his bodyguards spoke up. "Hey Malfoy, she's so poor she can't afford a surname. That's why she's with Weasley."

Draco slapped the boy round the back of his head. "Shut up Goyle you buffoon." He turned back to Joanna and flashed what he must have assumed to be a winning smile. "Is that a family crest on your tie?"

Joanna paled with embarrassment. Darn her father and his insistence that everybody knew which noble family they were a part of. She mumbled curses for her father under her breath.

Ginny spoke up, surprising everyone. "Isn't that the Black symbol Harry?"

Before any of them could answer Hermione's cat decided he'd had enough of being in a cramped carriage and jumped on Malfoy's leg, digging his claws in. Malfoy yelped in surprise and pain and kicked the animal off. "You'll turn out like that traitor Sirius if you stay with this lot. Until next time." He blew Joanna a kiss and fled before the cat could strike again.

A very uncomfortable silence filled the carriage.

"So…" Joanna attempted to break the silence, "when do you think we'll get to Hogwarts?"


	3. Chapter 3

Harry regarded her with the same suspicion Ginny had since Joanna arrive in the coach. "Oh I say we've got enough time for you to explain." He said crossing his arms and glaring at her.

Joanna shuffled nervously on her feet and avoided looking at anybody.

"Talk." It was Harry again. His green eyes made her feel that he wanted to tear her apart. At that moment in time, he probably did. She knew what her aunt Bellatrix was like, what she'd done to so many wizards. It wasn't exactly the best name to be associated with outside of certain circles.

"Harry, don't be so hard on her." Hermione's voice was soothing, it sounded a bit like trying to calm a child down, and seemed to placate Harry slightly. He sighed and allowed himself to be pulled down to his seat again. "Joanna, please talk to us. Why didn't you want to tell people your last name? You have to understand that it comes across as, well, a bit odd."

Joanna sighed and forced herself to meet Hermione's gaze. She was the only one who didn't seem angry with her. Hermione smiled encouragingly at her, which spurred Joanna to talk. "I come from a wealthy family and didn't want people to know in case it made them think I was a snob or arrogant like that jerk then. I also didn't want people to know of my last name because of my aunt, Bellatrix. I haven't really met her much but I know how horrible she is. At Durmstrang people would talk to me just to congratulate me on the muggle killing she took part in or they'd avoid me as if I would run crying to my aunt and they'd be tortured if they upset me. I am not my aunt and I wanted the opportunity to escape that. Not all Blacks have to be dark you know."

She realised everyone was staring at her with softened expressions and wondered why. Harry spoke first, sounding as if he were fighting back tears. "We know." He whispered.

Before she could respond the train pulled up and Hermione snapped into prefect mode. "Everyone off the train and to the carriages!" She ushered everyone off the train and went to help the terrified first years. Joanna was following the others when she heard a familiar voice call her name. She looked over her shoulder to see Dumbledore calling her name.

Ron bumped into her, having been staring at Dumbledore as well. "Blimey," he said, "What does Dumbledore want with you? He's _never_ been to the station when we arrive. Not even for Harry." Joanna shrugged and wove her way through the sea of students towards the headmaster who, having spotted her, was beaming at her kindly. He reminded her of her grandfather. She shook herself mentally as the usual visions filled her head. Now was not the time to be thinking about things like that.

"Ah Joanna, good evening, we shall be travelling to school in a rather different manner than the other students. If you would follow me please. He offered her his arm but she hesitated. Ron had said Dumbledore never came to the station. He saw her wariness and paused, raising an eyebrow.

"What would you like most for Christmas sir?" The question appeared random but she had to check it was the real Dumbledore and not an impostor. They were in the middle of a war after all.

Dumbledore beamed at her again and his eyes twinkled in pleasure. "Quite wise my dear. I would most like a pair of socks. Alas people will insist on giving me books." She nodded, feeling confident that this was Dumbledore, and fell into step alongside him. "You didn't stop me checking your mind Miss Black, are you out of practise with your Occlumency?"

Joanna shook her head. "It was easier than asking a question which would have given me away to anyone attempting to spy on me for my father." She sent the thought to Dumbledore who merely nodded.

"The night sky is so wonderfully clear." He remarked, reminding Joanna of a centaur she'd met the first time she ran away from home. She picked up the double meaning straight away and visibly relaxed. Upon seeing this, Dumbledore continued to speak, "I have arranged for a professor to take us straight to my office where you will be sorted before the first years. You will then slip in during the sorting and join your house table. Does this seem reasonable to you?"

"Most reasonable. I had hoped to avoid my surname being known the majority of the time I was here but it appears I am already known."

"What gave you away?"

"The crest on my tie. Father has them on everything imaginable and then some. Draco Malfoy noticed and brought it up, Ginny identified it correctly and I then had to explain to them a bit about who I was, or rather why I didn't want my surname known. The mission was not mentioned." She informed him. Dumbledore nodded and remained silent for a while. They were nearing what looked like a run-down shack when he finally spoke.

"It is good you met them so early on. Friends can be so hard to make this late in time." Joanna nodded and sighed.

"I don't think they liked me all that much to be honest. Especially Ginny."

"She is weary of anything and anyone related to Voldermort after her experiences with him. She will come around in time. Hermione and Ron seem quite fond of you though, from what I heard."

"Hermione's really nice, although I already knew that. Viktor Krum told me."

"Ah yes, I forgot that you knew Viktor. How is he?"

"He is well. He sends his regards and says his work is going well."

Dumbledore smiled to himself. "Good, good." His mumblings were obviously not directed at her so Joanna allowed herself a moment to look at her surroundings. She could make out the castle in the distance and wondered where this professor escorting them was. Dumbledore pointed at the shack. "They're in there." She jumped, not expecting him to still be in her mind. Dumbledore chuckled. "I'm sorry my dear but I was curious about your thoughts. You have been silent for quite some time now."

Joanna bowed her head. "I apologise. Is it…_safe_ in there?" She asked hesitantly, unsure of whether or not the building would collapse with them inside it.

"Perfectly safe, it was enchanted to look rundown from the moment it was made. For Remus' sake."

"Right, I understand." She had met Remus Lupin a few times when he had accompanied Dumbledore to their meetings to discuss the mission. He was asked to test her Occlumency upon their first meeting and she had reflected the spell. It was close to the moon and so Moony had been occupying his thoughts. She had earned Remus' trust that day by retreating from his mind when she sensed his discomfort about his condition and treated him as if she'd simply seen what he wanted for dinner. "How is he?" She asked, partly out of politeness but also out of curiosity. He intrigued her anew every time they had met.

"I am fine thank you Joanna. I'm glad you had a nice journey with Harry and the others." Remus appeared from the shadows of the shack smiling at the pair in front of him. "Headmaster" he nodded at Dumbledore who smilingly dipped his head back in return. "Follow me please, Dumbledore must go ahead to be present at the feast so I shall be sorting you. My presence will be announced before you go into the hall to allow you further cover. I am to teach again this year."

Joanna smiled softly to herself. It would be nice to have a friendly face around Hogwarts in case something was to go wrong. It was also nice to have another person who knew about her mission should she need assistance. She followed Remus into the shack and was surprised when he took her hand. "We are to use a port key rather than cross the grounds to avoid early sightings from the new students. The port key is quite small so both of us shall have to hold it between our hands" he informed her, pointing at a small rubber ball. Joanna nodded but was thinking about how soft his hands were. She'd kind of expected them to be rough. That was the last thought she had as she felt a tug behind her nostril and the port key activated, taking her to Dumbledore's office.

"So this is the youngest Black member. All of you have passed through these halls at least once you know. Yes even your father. He started here before moving at his father's demand. I was wondering if I'd get to meet you. Now, where shall I put you? Of course generally speaking the Blacks go to Slytherin, except Sirius who was Gryffindor. But that's them and you are somewhat more complex than them. There's light in you so definitely not Slytherin, you would never fit in I'm afraid, regardless of how much it would please your father. Not Hufflepuff either, you are made from a different mould to them. Now you would definitely do well in Ravenclaw, your mind is worthy of the lady herself."

Horror filled Joanna. She wanted to be in Gryffindor. She wanted to be friends with the group from the train. She wanted to be safe with a group of friends. Not stuck with a bunch of bookworms.

"Not everybody is a bookworm in Ravenclaw. And those you are so concerned about have friends in Ravenclaw…no? You want to be with them completely? Well you're definitely brave enough but do be wary in your mission for not everyone will be welcoming to you, especially with your name and father's connections….GRYFFINDOR."

The sorting hat announced its decision to Remus and Joanna sagged with relief. Remus grinned at her. "He was in there, your uncle Sirius I mean."

"I've never heard of uncle Sirius. I didn't know he existed. Will he visit?"

Remus stumbled slightly and paled, unaware of how to tell her that her uncle had in fact been killed by her aunt the year previous.

"I cannot guarantee it." He spoke carefully, knowing Harry would have already have geared himself up to tell Joanna all about Sirius. That or Joanna would ask him outright.

"Oh, well maybe another time. Should we go to the feast now? Dumbledore has to announce you does he not?"

Remus nodded and led the way out of the office, wondering why he wanted to protect this girl so much when he had inklings of the future that lay waiting for her.


	4. Chapter 4

"…and now for my final announcement. We have a not-so-new teacher taking Defence against the Dark Arts this year. Please join me in welcoming back Professor Lupin." Dumbledore's voice rang around the hall and was swiftly followed by cheers and shouts of joy from the majority of the hall. Unseen to most people Joanna slipped in a few moments after Remus and located the Weasleys, Hermione and Harry at their table.

"May I join you?" She asked, fiddling anxiously with her tie which now bore the Gryffindor arms. Ron moved away from Harry and further up the bench without speaking to make room for her and she gratefully slipped into the newly made space. "I did not know Remus had taught here before." She admitted to Ron as they ate dinner. Ron paused, a forkful of mash halfway up to his mouth.

"You know Lupin?"

"We've met before. He sorted me as well, up in Dumbledore's office."

Ron nodded and proceeded to shovel food into his face. Hermione, who was sitting on the other side of him, watched in disgust for a moment before whacking him repeatedly with the book she had with her. "_Will you eat normally?_" He stared at her in shock before slowly, and cautiously, resuming his meal. Satisfied that Ron was eating in a manner socially acceptable, Hermione turned to Joanna and flashed a grin. "So you'll be joining us in Gryffindor I take it? That's brilliant! Lavender somehow managed to convince Dumbledore to switch dorms after _Won Won_ here broke her heart last term. Although how that's _my_ fault still confuses me. Anyway it means there's an empty bed in my dorm."

"Won Won?"

"Oh, Lavender's pet name for Ronald here. It was sickening to be honest. You couldn't walk two steps without her appearing and draping herself over him."

"Well I'm glad I missed that time then. What classes do we have?"

"We get our timetables tomorrow from Professor McGonagall at breakfast but usually a mix of potions, defence against the dark arts, herbology, charms and care of magical creatures plus the odd elective or two…" Hermione trailed off as if she'd just realised something, "have you picked electives yet?"

Joanna shook her head "Not yet, Rem…I mean Professor Lupin said I could simply pick tomorrow after asking for advice from people in my house. Although I do have a few ideas of what I'd like to do already."

Hermione was about to respond when Harry, having been busy flirting with Ginny, noticed Joanna's presence at the table. "Oh hey Joanna! What're you doing here?"

Ginny, sitting on the other side of Harry and pouting over his divided attention, snorted in obvious distaste. "She got into Gryffindor apparently."

Holding back a snarl and cutting remark Joanna smiled at the girl and turned back to Harry. "She's right; I'm part of Gryffindor. So we'll be having classes together. What would you suggest as an elective by the way?

"Definitely not divination. You'd have to be crackers or desperate to do that like Ron and Harry."

"But don't you have a seer teaching it? Doesn't that make it interesting?"

Ron snorted. "Seer my," and then said something which made Hermione say _'RONALD!'_ "She might be from a line of them but she's absolutely batty. I doubt she's ever made a true prediction."

Harry suddenly developed an awkward look on his face and Ginny received his full attention again while Hermione was writing a list of all the electives Joanna could take and Ron was resuming stuffing his face. Joanna was waiting for Hermione to finish the list when she felt someone watching her. She looked around her cautiously and her eyes settled on the teacher's table. Remus was watching her with a curious look on his face. As soon as he realised Joanna had noticed him, Remus shifted his gaze to the other side of the room. At that moment Hermione thrust the list under her nose. "Here you go Joanna."

Joanna took the list gratefully and widened her eyes at the options available. "There's so much! How did you pick?"

"I put practically everything down and needed to drop some. Ron and Harry simply threw a pencil at the paper and picked whatever they got."

Joanna snorted and returned her attention to the extensive list. None of them seemed extremely interesting to her. Muggle studies was an option but she'd get bother from her father for it regardless of her reasoning behind it. _Hello, what's this?_ "Hermione what's this 'extra session' option?"

"Oh that's if you can't pick one you can opt for extra sessions of certain subjects. Essentially private tutoring for a subject of your choice but it can be a bit difficult because not all the professors agree to have their subjects included. Professors McGonagall, Flitwick and Sprout have all agreed and Snape agrees but only for the top five per cent of the year."

Joanna nodded silently and finally helped herself to some food. Not much, as her mother was insistent she eat little to keep her slim figure, but enough to satisfy her hunger pangs. Ron stared at the food on her plate in shock. "Is that _all_ you're going to eat?" He asked in amazement. When Joanna nodded he swore – causing Hermione to admonish him again – and offered her various other bits of food, all of which she turned down. "No wonder you've got a tiny waist then, if you eat as little as that!"

Joanna paled at his comments and Hermione whacked Ron with her book again. "_What did I do?"_ He yelled at the angry girl.

"You have the emotional range of the teaspoon Ronald! That was obviously a comment that should have stayed in your head!"

Joanna said nothing and quietly ate the lump of mash she'd just put on her plate. Ron's comment wasn't the first time she'd heard such things from someone. It had been part of her reason for wanting to leave Durmstrang so much. She was, naturally, rather thin but her mother insisted on keeping her daughter's weight that way. And so meals had stayed light regardless of whether or not she was at school or at home. However there were certain elements of her body which were curvier and that, combined with her olive skin and black wavy hair, attracted pigheaded boys at school. It was only when she'd befriended Krum at school that boys began to leave her alone as they were threatened by the surly Bulgarian whenever they approached her.

She had tried to gain weight by sneaking extra food at mealtimes but her mother simply began ordering the house elves to weigh the food they put on her daughter's plate and limit the food she ate then. And so the curves had stayed away. Maybe now, away from her parent's interfering, she could finally put on weight. Hermione appeared troubled when Joanna cautiously reached for some more food.

"Don't listen to him Joanna, however much you want is fine."

Joanna smiled at her concern and placed the sausages on her plate with a determined flourish. "Don't worry about it Hermione. He's right, I should really eat some more. Especially as winter's coming, I'm not exactly going to keep warm with this amount of flesh on my bones!"

"I'd keep you warm, Gryffindor or not." The catcall came from none other than Draco Malfoy who was approaching Gryffindor table. Joanna rolled her eyes and was about to respond cuttingly when an authoritative voice spoke.

"Is there a problem Mr Malfoy?"

"Of course not Professor" Malfoy flashed Remus his 'professor pleaser' smile. Remus appeared less than impressed.

"In that case move along please. You should be returning to your common room if you've finished dinner."

Unable to say anything else Malfoy smirked at the group and stalked off. Remus turned to them, smiling at his favourite students. "How are you settling in Joanna?"

Joanna smiled at him, embarrassed to be singled out, "it is okay thank you. Hermione was just helping me pick an elective. She was explaining the extra session option to me."

Remus beamed at her. "Always a good idea if there's a particular subject that intrigues you. I just agreed to be part of the extra sessions myself."

There was a moment of silence while Joanna and Remus smiled at each other, Joanna slightly flushed, before Harry and Ginny rejoined the conversation. "Should we go up to the common room now? We can show you around the castle on the way." Harry's voice jolted the pair out of their reverie and Joanna forced herself to look away from Remus. _Not Remus, he's your professor now. Keep this crush under control Joanna you idiot._

"That would be nice, thank you Harry. I'll see you tomorrow Professor." Remus smiled at them, waved and continued on his way out of the great hall.

Joanna watched him leave and tried to ignore the funny feeling she had in her stomach. She wasn't _supposed_ to feel like that about a professor. She couldn't. She wasn't allowed to. She was drawn out of her thoughts when she felt the familiar prodding in her mind of Dumbledore. She instantly blocked his access and accepted Ron's outstretched hand, pulling her up from the bench. As she left, Joanna looked back at the teacher's table and caught Professor Dumbledore's gaze. His eyes were twinkling with intrigue at the denial to her mind. Joanna turned her attention back to the group calling her name and ran after them. Ron was waiting a little bit behind the others and fell into step with her.

"So what do you think so far? Of the castle I mean." The tips of his ears flushed red and blended into the tips of his hair perfectly. Joanna sniggered quietly to herself before answering.

"It's absolutely gorgeous. And so _warm_, Durmstrang was freezing cold. It had fires but they never used them for anything other than decoration. Although I expect you already knew that from Viktor, how foolish of me." Now it was Joanna's turn to blush. Of course they would know that, Viktor would have mentioned it.

Ron slipped his hand into hers and gave it a squeeze as if to reassure her. "If Viktor mentioned it, it wasn't to me. He might have told Hermione or Harry but I didn't really spend much time with the guy when he was here. It was a crazy time…" Ron trailed off and Joanna felt bad for him. She knew that Ron had fought with Hermione over Viktor's interest in her at the time – Viktor had mentioned it in passing to her – and doubted that it was a time Ron enjoyed re-living.

Joanna quickly moved the conversation onto safer ground and proceeded to ask Ron about the various lessons they would have together. Moments later, when Hermione fell back and joined them, it was as if the awkward fourth year had never been raised. By the time Joanna fell into bed a lot later that night she knew that Hogwarts was where she belonged. Now if only her mission would fall into place she could enjoy her time here all the more.


	5. Chapter 5

"So Joanna, have you picked your elective yet?" It was very early in the morning when Joanna entered the great hall and sat next to Harry, Ron, Hermione and Ginny who were already up because of Gryffindor's early Quidditch practise. Hermione seemed to be taking Joanna's education more seriously than anyone else in her life. It had been Hermione's last question before bed and it didn't really surprise her that Hermione threw the question at her before breakfast was even on her plate.

Joanna made Hermione wait until bacon, sausages and hash browns were placed on her plate. Seeing how impatient Hermione was getting for an answer Joanna gave in as she reached for a slice of toast. "I think I'm going to go for the extra session option y'know."

She was halfway through the food on her plate when she noticed Hermione was still staring at her. "What's wrong?" She asked. Hermione sighed and gestured for Joanna to continue speaking. "You want to know what subject?" Hermione rolled her eyes and nodded frantically, making Joanna struggle not to burst out laughing as she noticed Ron and Harry not-so-discretely lean towards the girls to listen in. "I was thinking defence against the dark arts. I'm sure we'll all need it soon and technically I'm behind."

Ron butted into the conversation demandingly, "what do you mean you're behind?"

Joanna smiled and mentally berated herself for that slip up. "I'm actually a year older than you all. But I got a muggle illness when I was younger and started school a year later than I was supposed to."

Beside Harry a snigger sounded causing Ron to swear. "Hey Ron you might have a chance with this older woman, she's not as far gone as Rosemarta!" Ron swore again and Hermione hit him with her book.

Deciding to overlook Ginny's snide remark Joanna resumed her breakfast and looked over the timetable Professor McGonagall had just placed in front of her. Almost as if Dumbledore had managed to read her mind the extra session had been included on her timetable.

"I wonder if anyone else picked that as an option."

Harry looked at Joanna's timetable and raised an eyebrow. "I doubt it unless people have switched to it. It wasn't included last year and you're the only new student this year so it looks like you'll be having one-on-one sessions with Remus. You'll definitely learn stuff from him, he's easily one of the best professors that subject has had while we've been here."

At the words 'one-on-one' Joanna had choked on her orange juice. Private lessons with Remus? That could be dangerous giving her feelings for the professor. Especially if her father found out. It would have made it look as if she was working with Remus for the Order. Admittedly she was part of the Order now – highly secretly of course, lest her father find out the true nature of the mission – but that wasn't to say she wanted this information made public.

"Good morning everyone. How are your timetables looking?" Joanna jumped, this time spilling her orange juice, as the very man she had been thinking about appeared at their table smiling down at them all. Or rather at everyone but her. Joanna frowned. Had she done something? Had she unknowingly let him read her mind? No, she would have noticed her mind being encroached even if she had been lost in thought, the way she had noticed last night with Dumbledore.

"Joanna has extra sessions with you Professor." Hermione beamed up at the werewolf. Was it Joanna's imagination or did Remus look even more uncomfortable?

"So I heard from Professor McGonagall this morning. Well I must go and prepare for my first class," he leant over Harry's shoulder and scanned the timetable sitting on his empty plate, "I shall see you all just before lunch for your first lesson."

The group watched him as he walked down the length of the table and out of the great hall. Hermione was matching Joanna's frown. "That was…" She trailed off, searching for the right word.

"Weird?" Ron offered before shoving a sausage in his mouth.

Hermione grimaced at his eating habits but for once refrained from passing judgement on him. Instead she turned to Joanna. "I thought you'd already met him? It sounded as if you were on at least happy acquaintanceship with him."

"I was, or so I thought. Maybe he just felt awkward about it because it's one-on-one and he doesn't really know me as well as he knows says Harry, Ron or you."

Hermione frowned but seemed content with Joanna's response because she finally picked up the book she always seemed to carry around with her and began to read. Harry returned to his conversation with Ginny while Ron proceeded to re-stack his plate. Joanna was about to attempt conversation with him when a spaced-out looking blonde sat next to him.

"Hello Ronald, who's this? I say, are you the new Black girl? Draco was talking about you this morning when I bumped into him quite by chance."

Her voice matched her look: airy and away with the fairies but with a hint of wisdom beyond her age. Ron grunted, which Luna took as a yes, and turned back to Joanna with a content smile and outstretched hand. "My name's Luna. I'm in Ravenclaw but I like to sit at a different table each meal. Except perhaps Slytherin. They don't seem to particularly like me for some reason."

So that was what the sorting hat had meant by the trio having friends in Ravenclaw. As nice as Luna looked, Joanna was glad she'd been so adamant about Gryffindor as she felt very much at home there. Especially with Ron and Hermione being as friendly as they had. Harry had been friendly as well but Ginny seemed less than enthused with her arrival and so conversation with him had, so far, been kept to a minimum. Joanna expected this would change once they were in their lessons as Ginny was in the year below them.

"Luna the Slytherins don't like anybody except themselves so don't take it personally." Ron had apparently finished his sausage and decided to join in the conversation. "Now come on, it's time for lessons. We have potions first and new or not, Snape isn't going to go easy on you if you're late Joanna!"

Glancing at her watch and realising that he was right Joanna grabbed the last of her toast, bid a hasty farewell to Luna and ran after Ron, Harry and Hermione. She hadn't met Snape yet but had heard about him from her father. As far as her father knew, Snape was a spy for Voldermort. Little did he know that Snape, while a spy, was working for Dumbledore. She wondered how her father would take it if he found out that two spies from Voldermort's camp were actually spying for Dumbledore. A number of death eater's and Voldermort himself may have been smart but Voldermort had developed such an ego – thinking that nobody would _dare_ double cross him – that both Snape and Joanna's change of hearts had slipped completely under his radar.

Nevertheless when Joanna slipped into a seat beside Ron, just behind Hermione and Harry, Snape noted her monogrammed tie and gave her the dirtiest look she had ever received. The rest of the lesson gave no room for improvement and, despite her potion being bested by only Hermione's, Snape managed to critique everything she did. By the end of the lesson Snape had spent more time harassing Joanna than Neville and Harry – his two favourite victims – together.

As they made their way to their last lesson before lunch – defence against the dark arts – Ron was still marvelling about Snape's behaviour. "I just can't believe it. He's being so much more of a git than usual!"

"And who might that be Mr Weasley?" Ron jumped at the new voice and blushed guiltily. Remus was standing just behind them grinning. "You may go into class. Joanna may I speak with you for a moment?"

Remus waited until the last Gryffindor – Lavender - had slipped through the door before gesturing a little further down the corridor and walking a short distance away from the door which Lavender had purposefully left open for eavesdropping opportunities. Joanna smiled at Remus – obviously a few days away from a transformation by the amber flecks in his eyes and more worn look he carried on his features – and waited for him to speak, curious as to why she had been singled out and wondering if it had anything to do with the awkwardness of that morning.

Her curiosities were answered when Remus pulled a small muggle diary out of his cloak pocket. "When would be most advisable for you to have your extra session Joanna? Dumbledore said as it was only you in my class we could arrange it at a time to suit us both and change the time as and when needs be. I have a free period today after lunch if this suits you, or this evening if you don't mind an extra lesson taking up your evening free time?"

Joanna weighed up the options. Granted she did have a free period after lunch but she also didn't want to feel rushed. She had a feeling that Remus would prefer the evening too as it would be more relaxed – okay so the 'feeling' was gathered by checking his thought process in the most discrete manner but still, it counted.

"I think this evening would be most suitable, if you do not mind giving up your own evening to teach more?"

Remus smiled at her, causing those strange feelings in her stomach to rise again, "I enjoy teaching. My evenings can become quite boring at the start of term so it will be nice to have some company for a while."

They quickly decided on a time and re-entered the classroom. As Joanna slid into her seat beside Ron she noticed she was on the receiving end of a fair few curious glances. She was about to remark sarcastically at Lavender – who was gazing pointedly at her – when Ron leant over and squeezed her arm. "Don't worry, not everyone knows about the extra sessions and Lavender made it sound like you two were having some kind of sordid affair."

Ignoring the twisted feeling in her stomach Joanna forced a laugh and butted Ron with her shoulder. "Yeah right, pull the other one."

Smirking Ron leant over and pulled her other arm, causing her to laugh as well and shove Ron away jokingly. Remus cleared his throat for silence and, with an odd look at Joanna and Ron, began the lesson.

Later that evening Joanna packed a smaller bag with her textbook, wand, parchment and permanently inked quill and headed off to Remus' office. As she neared the portrait Lavender called her over. "Hey Joanna, it is Joanna isn't it? Where are you going with all that stuff? Classes are over and it's too early for any clubs to have started."

Joanna blinked, desperately trying to think of an excuse for her school bag when Hermione's voice piped up. "We're going to the library Lavender. You know, the place with the books." She was talking as if explaining something patiently to a small child, a small smirk on her face. Lavender snorted in annoyance and stalked off.

"Thank you so much, I just completely blanked there." Joanna was still thanking Hermione as they neared Remus' office.

"No problem, Lavender can be a nosy gossip but it doesn't take much to get rid of her. I was going to the library anyway. Shall I knock when curfew is coming up so we can walk back together?"

Joanna nodded, "I think I'd like that. Thanks Hermione." She waited until Hermione had disappeared around the corner before running a hand over her hair and knocking on the door of Remus' office. She was waiting with her breath held as she heard footsteps approach from inside the room and the door was flung open.

It was obvious he'd forgotten about her coming. He'd answered the door in some simple black trousers and his dark blue shirt was partially unbuttoned. Either he was getting dressed from a shower or she was disturbing something very private. Before she could stammer out her apologies Remus noticed her line of vision and spun around, buttoning up his shirt as he did so. Joanna calmed herself down with a few quick breaths but still flushed when Remus turned back around.

"Joanna, good evening. You're early. I'm afraid I had just stepped out of the shower when you knocked."

"Obviously" She replied with humour, desperately trying to ease the feeling of awkwardness that was now covering the atmosphere. Thankfully Remus saw the funny side and let out a giant shout of laughter. He offered her a drink and showed her to a small sofa while he finished getting ready in a small side room that she assumed was the bedroom.

By the time Remus returned Joanna was slowly moving along his bookshelves, scanning the spines almost critically. He allowed himself to watch her silently for a while before making his presence known as she reached out for a book that had struck her interest. "You can borrow it if you like. I've read that one so many times I could probably retell the story myself. But I'm afraid that book shall have to wait as it has nothing to do with these sessions. As this is our first meeting I feel we should get to know more about each other, if that is okay with you?"

Joanna nodded and placed the book onto the small wooden table in front of the sofa as she took her seat again. Remus sat down next to her and turned to her expectantly. Evidently he wanted her to start. And so she did. For the next hour she talked about herself, her family, her schooling, her conversations with Viktor Krum and her contact with Dumbledore. She even opened up about the bullying – both at school and at home – and her mission. Remus could be trusted and he already knew briefly the circumstances regarding her arrival at Hogwarts. Remus, for his part, remained mostly silent except for the odd question or two. When she could no longer talk about herself he placed a gentle hand on her arm.

"You do realise your father and your school mates filled your head with lies, don't you? You are very bright and your presence at this school has roused the interest of several males already and it has only been a day."

She blushed and was about to reply when there was a knock at the door, startling them both. Remus cast an unenthusiastic look at the door but answered the insistent knocking anyway. Standing in the doorway was a frantic Hermione. "Remus I fell asleep in the library. It's five minutes to curfew, Joanna and I need to leave now!" Remus threw a shocked look at the clock and realised she was speaking the truth. He handed the book to Joanna and ushered her reluctantly out of the room.

"Tomorrow evening Joanna, we must continue the sessions until I take my break in three days time. Goodnight ladies."

Hermione and Joanna ran all the way to the common room and burst through the portrait panting just as the clock announced curfew. Ron and Harry glanced up from their game of wizard's chess. "We were wondering where you two were!" Ron exclaimed as Hermione collapsed into the chair next to him. Ron watched as Joanna sank into the chair next to Harry and accepted the water Harry had offered her. "So how was your first extra session?"

Joanna nodded vaguely and waved her hand around to indicate it had gone okay before gulping down her glass of water. "Good…another one tomorrow. Goodnight." Still slightly out of breath but wanting to go over what Remus had said by herself Joanna grabbed her bag and dragged herself up to her bed. Once inside, and with the curtains drawn, did she realise Remus had just implied she was attractive. The odd feeling she got in her stomach at the sight of him resurfaced and Joanna sighed. She had to face it. Proper or not she had at the very least developed a crush on her teacher.

How desperately inappropriate.


	6. Chapter 6

The next day progressed slowly for Joanna. She was almost aching for it to be after dinner and for her to have her next session with Remus. Hermione had promised to extend her usual library session to be able get Joanna before curfew came up again in case the session over ran again. Finally Joanna was sitting down to dinner with Ron and Hermione. Ginny and Harry were further up the table alone having a mock dinner date – something Ginny insisted on every other week to give them time alone in the crowded castle.

As she sat down at the table Ron looked up and his fork fell back to his plate with a clatter, causing Hermione to break away from her book and Lavender and Pavarati – who were sitting nearby – to pay attention to Joanna's arrival. She looked at Ron, somewhat confused. "What is it? Is there something on my face?" Ron continued to stare at her for a while leaving Lavender to lean over and inquire to Joanna.

"Is that make-up you're wearing Joanna? What are you wearing that for, have you got a date?"

Joanna blushed and pulled at her fringe self-consciously "what do you mean?"

Lavender smirked "you," she announced with authority, "are wearing make-up. Don't deny it because if you do I can list exactly what you're wearing. So spill, why are you wearing make up when you've gone all day without?"

Hermione and Ron watched the exchange with a mixture of amusement and annoyance. Lavender opened her mouth to question Joanna again but Hermione snapped her book shut and glared at Lavender. "Stop it Lavender. Leave her alone."

"But-"

"But nothing Lavender. Shut up. If I hear you mention it again I won't hesitate to give you a detention with Snape."

Lavender wisely closed her mouth and turned back to Pavarati, but the pair continued to whisper and glance over at her every now and then. They only stopped when Hermione shot them one of her sternest looks and discretely pointed towards Snape, who was sneering at a group of Hufflepuff first years laughing near the teacher's table on their way out. Joanna had followed Hermione's gaze to the teacher's table and stopped just before Snape at Remus. He was in conversation with Professor McGonagall but appeared to have noticed that someone was watching him because he looked up and caught Joanna's eye. He smiled at her and inclined his head to acknowledge her before turning back to Professor McGonagall.

Ron was still staring at her as she helped herself to food. It was only when he was still staring at her five minutes later rather than eating that she finally snapped: "what is it Ron?"

His face flushed a violent red and he shoved a forkful of food in his mouth to avoid answering. Next to him Hermione snorted and rolled her eyes. Before Joanna could say anything further to her there was a tap on her shoulder. Joanna turned around and found herself blushing, although not quite as violently as Ron had moments ago, as she smiled up at him.

"Good evening Joanna, if you are ready we can start the session early." He smiled evenly at her and Joanna felt the familiar butterflies in her stomach. Ignoring the rest of her house's strange looks she grabbed her bag and followed after Remus. She was so occupied in her thoughts that she didn't notice a certain Slytherin watching her very carefully.

"Well Joanna I think this session should continue in a similar vein to yesterday's rather than start a topic and have it disturbed by my three day absence. Is that suitable in your opinion?"

"That's fine by me Professor." Joanna accepted the glass of pumpkin juice from him and took a seat on his sofa.

Remus looked uncomfortable. "Please, call me Remus during these sessions together. Professor makes me feel my age."

"You don't look very old Pro…Remus."

His face gained a bit of colour and he dipped his head modestly. "You flatter me Joanna. However I surely look older than my years. How old do you think I am?"

"Well you went to school with Harry's dad and Harry is seventeen so I'd guess at most you're in your mid thirties."

"Joanna I am nearly forty years old. I cannot look _that_ young."

Oh gosh it was worse than she'd thought. A fifteen year gap she could've rationalised but twenty years was potentially stretching it a bit far. Maybe she should stick to a younger man…then again she'd always liked her men older. That was partly why she'd sought out Viktor Krum. It was only when Remus cleared his throat that she realised she'd been silent for a while. "Sorry I was lost in thought. You don't look as old as forty. If I hadn't known about Harry's dad I would've guessed you were younger than what I said."

Remus chuckled and sat down next to her. She noticed that his eyes had a more amber tone to them than the previous night. They were nearly an entirely different colour to usual. Joanna wondered if all werewolves developed this colour speckling around the time of their transformation or if it was specific to Remus' case. "Remus, how did you become a werewolf?" The question escaped without permission and she immediately felt guilty, remembering how wary Remus had been when she'd stumbled across those memories. "I'm sorry," she apologised looking appalled with herself, "you don't have to answer that if you don't want to."

He smiled almost wearily at her. "It is fine; I have no objection talking about it after all you shared yesterday evening. I must warn you, it's not a particularly thrilling story."

Joanna nodded and took another sip of her pumpkin juice, waiting for him to continue.

"I was young when it happened. Younger than you or the others. I was eight. I'd been playing outside my house before dinner. A werewolf by the name of Fenir Greyback had been seen in the area we lived but my parents assumed I'd be safe right in front of the house."

Remus paused and Joanna knew he was reliving the whole thing. She went to speak, to tell him that he didn't have to continue, when he began to speak again.

"It was beginning to get dark and I could tell my mum was serving dinner. I was about to come in but suddenly I was on the floor with what looked like a mixture of a bear and a dog on top of me. My mum raced to the door but my dad held her back and was trying to find his wand to get rid of it. My mum was a muggle you see, there wasn't any way she'd have been able to do anything. By the time my dad found his wand it was too late and I'd been bitten. My parents rushed me to St Mungos but the healers told them what was already obvious: there was no cure. They locked me in a cage every month for my transformation until I came to Hogwarts where Dumbledore told them about a potion which would help me keep my mind and built the Shrieking Shack to keep my identity a secret. Although of course you already knew about the shack." He smiled at her and Joanna wished she could find a cure for him. She knew from her moment inside his mind that he hated the way he was alienated for what he was.

"Don't worry, I'm used to being treated the way I am now."

Joanna jumped, surprised that he knew what she was thinking.

"You let your defences down. I hope you have your wits about you more than that generally."

She laughed. "I do usually. I guess I trust you more than I would trust others. I'm assuming that trust is not misplaced."

She was teasing but Remus took on a serious face. "Of course it's not misplaced. I am assuming the same applies for you."

"You may use Legilimency if you so wish."

And so he did. Joanna had no idea why she had suggested it in the first place given what she had stored in her mind. She had to fight the instinct to block off her mind. She was so used to unauthorised attacks from her father and Voldermort that it was natural to have her mind barricaded from any attempts at Occlumency.

She watched as Remus' eyes grew wide at the more private moments she'd endured and wished he'd stop. She hated reliving these particular memories. Flashbacks of beatings, of her father's spies leering at her through the double sided mirror – appearing whenever they wanted to in order to let her know she was being watched – which lead to her getting changed in her spy free bathroom or under her duvet. Some of the worst memories were watching her father beat her mother, being taken to Voldermort and having to pretend to be interested in his plans.

He stopped at the very worst memory. Unable to carry on either for her sake or simply because he couldn't take it. Whatever the reason she didn't care, she was just thankful that she hadn't been forced to relive that memory in its entirety.

"I'm sorry, I didn't know."

She smiled sadly at him. "Nobody knows. Do you understand now, why I am so against my father's ideals? The way they treat people, even their own family, is sickeningly wrong and even more so when added to the way they treat muggles and half-bloods. Pitiful actually if you consider Riddle's birth parents. He's hardly the amazing pureblood he'd love us to believe he is."

Remus placed a comforting hand on her knee and they lapsed into silence. He seemed to be deep in thought about something and Joanna was wondering about whether or not she should just leave when he finally spoke.

"I would like to see something. I glimpsed it in passing in your mind but I am unsure if I was correct or not."

Joanna nodded slowly, wondering what exactly it was that he wanted to test. It was then that she noticed the fact that his eyes had taken on a darker hue than the beginning of their meeting. She had barely processed this thought when he was leaning towards her, with his eyes drooping closed as if he was falling asleep. Suddenly she realised. He must have glanced upon her feelings for him, a memory where she'd written it down in her personal mission notes. He was going to kiss her. Her eyes fluttered shut and she waited, her breath hitched in her throat, for the contact on her lips.

There wasn't any.

She opened her eyes and saw him pulling back, an unidentifiable expression on his face. "I thought as much." He whispered, more to himself than her. "I think we'll leave it there for tonight Joanna. Shouldn't Hermione be here soon anyway?"

They both turned towards the clock just as it announced curfew. Joanna paled. She was late. Where was Hermione? Had she forgotten?

"Joanna can you get back to the tower without being seen or shall I escort you?"

"I don't know the way properly yet Remus! If Filch catches me I'll be in so much trouble. My father will find out. Please don't let him."

She could see he was reluctant to be alone with her but the panic in her voice won out over his logic. His resolve crumpled at the frantic look her eyes bore. "I shall escort you and provide an explanation should we run into Filch." He rose from his chair, obviously eager to get her out of his office, and handed Joanna her bag. She took it without a word and followed him from the office.

They were a mere corridor away from the Gryffindor tower when a wheezing voice called out to them. "You've caught one as well Professor? Good, I'll take her from here."

Filch. Joanna paled and shot an anxious look at Remus, who appeared quite calm.

"Joanna is late due to my own faulty time keeping I'm afraid. She is part of the extra session course I run and we over ran tonight's meeting."

The old caretaker looked less than pleased. He grabbed the student behind him and pulled her out into the light. Lavender stared from Joanna to Remus with a wide eyed expression that scared Joanna more than Filch. That was Lavender's gossip face.

"Rules are rules Professor. I've already given this one detention with Professor Snape, I'm sure he wouldn't mind another delinquent joining them."

"A detention may be given unless a teacher can account for the student and take responsibility for their lateness. I take responsibility for Joanna and was just escorting her back to the Gryffindor tower. I will take Lavender with me as well and save you the extra work. Goodnight."

Before Filch had a chance to argue Remus had continued along the corridor leaving Joanna and Lavender to catch him up. As they came to the portrait hole Remus turned to Lavender. "I can trust you won't relay this to the other students Lavender. Joanna is quite keen to stay out of trouble and this is an isolated incident. I shall try to talk to Professor McGonagall and see if we can at the very least swap your detention details. Goodnight ladies."

The Fat Lady ungraciously admitted them – although not without complaining about being woken up – to the common room and Joanna scrambled through, desperate to avoid Lavender's questioning for as long as possible but Lavender was too quick for her.

"Why were you out so late? Nobody studies that late…in fact why were you even with Remus after dinner? The only lesson after dinner is astronomy."

"It was easier for us at that time. We don't have any free periods at the same time and it's an evening or a weekend."

"So it seemed like it was just you two…"

She was fishing, Joanna was sure of it. She had a nasty feeling that Lavender would make up something crazy and spread it around before lunchtime. She just hoped it wasn't so bad that it ended up causing more trouble than being caught out late would.

"Nobody else signed up for the extra session. But Lavender, he is a professor and old enough to be my father. Besides if anything was going on wouldn't I be looking more dishevelled than I already do?"

Lavender considered Joanna's appearance for a moment before breathing a sigh of what seemed like relief. "You're right; your make up isn't even smudged." She seemed happy enough with that verdict and Joanna decided to go to bed before Lavender had time to question things further. She was still shaken up by the almost kiss that had happened less than ten minutes ago.

Little did she know as she finally crawled into bed that Remus' behaviour would be the least of her worries the next day.


	7. Chapter 7

Joanna did not want to face Remus at breakfast the next morning and was getting ready for her day with the goal of sneaking into the kitchens when Hermione appeared next to Joanna's bed. She looked absolutely distraught. "Joanna I am _so sorry_ about last night. I fell asleep and I woke up as curfew was sounding. I was so panicked that I just ran to the common room to avoid Filch and completely forgot about you."

"Hermione, it is fine."

"I tried to find you, I borrowed Harry's cloak to sneak back out and find you but I couldn't…and I nearly ran into Filch and, oh I'm _sorry_!"

"Hermione, really it's fine please don't worry about it."

"But what happened?"

"We overran as well and were alerted when the curfew sounded. Remus walked me back to the common room and excused my lateness when we met Filch. No harm done. I shouldn't have asked you to stay up so late for me."

Although Hermione still looked upset at herself she nodded and moved back to her own bedside. Joanna finished packing her bag and left the dormitory with a small wave to Hermione. She was halfway down to the kitchens when someone ran up behind her.

"I know."

Such ominous words that could mean anything: she was, after all, keeping a lot of things secret at the moment. Although she was half tempted to ignore the female voice Joanna slowly turned around to face the mystery girl. It was Lavender.

"And what exactly do you know?" She enquired, keeping her face clear of emotion. There was no way Lavender would be able to infiltrate her mind so that wasn't an issue.

"You and Remus, what you're doing in his quarters."

"Well done Lavender, you've learnt what happens in a lesson." The sarcasm came out unexpectedly but it was too late. Lavender sneered and laughed mockingly. She took a step closer to Joanna.

"I know that you have a crush on him. And I can guess what kept you there so late last night."

"You don't know anything if you think that."

"So why are you heading to his room now? Why aren't you at breakfast?"

"Well why aren't you?"

"I went in early and was going to my first lesson. So," apparently Lavender wasn't to be distracted, "why aren't you at breakfast?"

"She was coming to get me."

Both girls jumped in surprise, having not noticed the fact that footsteps had been sounding nearby the pair as someone approached them. It was Ron. Lavender flushed a mixture between embarrassment and anger.

"And why, might I ask, is she coming to find you?"

"I was out on the Quidditch pitch and was going to miss breakfast. Hermione and Joanna came to find me, but Hermione found me first. I thought I'd come and let you know so we could get to breakfast." He offered his arm to Joanna who, sensing she had no other option, smiled gracefully and took it. The pair of them walked to the great hall leaving furious Lavender in their wake.

"Thanks for that Ron, she wasn't going to give up until she got some shred of information to repeat."

Ron shrugged but cast a curious look in her direction. "Why _were_ you down there anyway?"

"Thought I'd overslept and missed breakfast. I was trying to find the kitchens before first lesson to get some toast. I guess I was going the wrong way." She smiled and knew immediately that he'd accepted her reasoning.

As they walked into the great hall Joanna immediately felt several pairs of eyes on them. A quick scan around the hall revealed that Harry and Hermione were watching them in surprise, as were Draco Malfoy and Remus. Joanna unlocked her arm from Ron's and stepped away slightly, sending him a small smile to appease him, before heading to sit next to Hermione. "Explain." She whispered as soon as Joanna reached for food.

Joanna glanced around and noticed Ron watching them, his plate empty. "Later." She replied, taking a slice of toast and jumping away from the table. "I've just remembered I left something in my room. I'll see you later." Before any of them could say anything to stop her Joanna was halfway out of the room.

What she didn't notice as she left the great hall were the looks she was receiving, or the whispers that were following her along the tables.

She was halfway to the kitchens when she realised several things. Firstly, she was hopelessly lost. Secondly, she was being followed. And finally, she had five minutes to get to her first lesson of the day. Taking a chance and turning to face her follower Joanna hoped it would be someone who would help her. She groaned inwardly when she saw who it was. Draco Malfoy stood in front of her, a smirk pasted on his face. He carried on walking, seemingly unruffled despite her having caught him. It was only when he drew level with her that he spoke.

"You're a long way from the kennels Black."

Joanna scowled at him but bit her tongue, knowing that unless someone else walked past she would have to rely on Draco to help her find her lesson.

"Do you want to know what I've heard?" He paused to allow her to respond. When she didn't speak he continued, his smirk growing as he spoke. "I heard from a certain housemate of yours that you've been having, shall we say _moonlit_ rendezvous with a certain person."

It was unexpected. Unfortunately for her Draco didn't miss the milliseconds that fear was present in her eyes. He broke into a proper grin – the first time she'd seen him smile – and let out a little chuckle. He leaned closer to her, pushing her back against the nearby wall.

"I can make it go away. I can make people stop talking. It's already all over our year. Imagine if the parents found out…"

He allowed his words to sink in before running a hand across her hair and cupping her cheek. "Just give me this and I can make all the bad things stop."

What happened next was even more unexpected than Draco revealing he knew about the late night meetings in Remus' office. He kissed her, quite roughly, and pulled her tight against his body. Joanna tried to fight back but, despite his skinny frame, Draco was too strong for her. _Great_ Joanna thought _not only am I going to be late to my lesson but I'm being kissed…nope make that groped_ Draco's hands were now wandering past her chin, gliding down her neck and continuing _by the very Death Eater child my blasted father wants me to marry_.

"Mr Malfoy perhaps if you don't mind you could unhand Miss Black?" Although the address itself was polite in tone there was a determination and edge of steel to it. Draco was pulled off Joanna and dragged backwards, allowing Joanna to see exactly who her saviour was. It was Remus.

Draco glared at the older man before grinning. "Well of course you'd show up to save your precious Joanna. I know all about your midnight meetings. I overheard Lavender this morning. I wonder if Dumbledore knows what you two get up to at nights."

"Mr Malfoy, Miss Black has chosen the extra session option to catch up on missed lessons."

"Extra sessions at illicit relationships more like."

Anger flashed in Remus' eyes and Joanna knew it could have turned very ugly very quickly if it had not been for the arrival of Snape, a glint of malice in his eyes. "Well, well, well, illicit relations with a pupil Remus? I don't think even Dumbledore can explain that one away to the parents."

~#~#~#~#~#~#~#~#~#~#~#~#~#~#~#

Joanna couldn't help it. She gasped. This was, apparently, all Snape needed to decide that what he'd heard from Draco had been correct. He sneered at a clearly infuriated Remus and a flustered Joanna. "So Remus, does Dumbledore know about your," he paused for a moment to throw Joanna a smug look, "private tuition?"

Remus swallowed nervously and Joanna could tell he was fighting to hold back a snappy response. "Draco was merely mistaken in his accusations Severus. I have been hosting extra sessions with Joanna, who picked it as her option. Dumbledore is indeed aware about the situation. Draco has picked up some frivolous gossip from another student who is seeking to cause trouble for Joanna."

"Nevertheless, I think we should discuss this with Dumbledore lest there be _accusations_." Snape placed a hand on Joanna's shoulder and the other on Draco's, "After you Remus."

Joanna tried to meet his gaze but he was staring determinedly at the floor. And he continued to do so all the way to Dumbledore's office. As they made their way along the deserted corridors Draco whispered out of the corner of his mouth to her:

"You should have let me take care of it Black. Now what will happen to your precious Remus?"

As footsteps came towards the door Joanna quickly shifted back to where Snape had left her. She'd been made – much to her annoyance – to wait outside while Snape and Draco relayed their information to Dumbledore. Remus had, of course, been present in the office if only to keep them separated. The door was pulled open by a moody Snape and a brooding Draco, both of whom ignored her as they descended the office steps. Joanna was still looking after them when Dumbledore spoke behind her, making her jump.

"Would you like to come in Joanna? I believe there are matters we need to discuss."

Joanna nodded demurely and followed the headmaster into his office and took the seat next to Remus. He finally looked at her. She was surprised to see relief on his face, were they not in serious trouble? Was he not about to be sacked? Was she not about to have her mission stripped from her before it had even begun?

"I am sure you will be relieved, Joanna, to hear that I believe Draco's tale of events to be highly exaggerated. I was, of course, aware of your extra sessions with Professor Lupin and that these were taking place after lessons. It has been suggested that I supervise said sessions from now on. Personally I believe to do so would call them into more attention and insinuate a severe lack of trust in my professor, let alone call into question your character. So I have the following proposition for you: I shall walk you to your sessions then floo back to my office. I shall floo back at the end of them and accompany you back to your common room. To any curious being it will appear I have been present the entire session and you can have your session in private. Is this agreeable with you Joanna?"

"I don't wish to be of inconvenience to either you or Remus, sir."

Dumbledore smiled at her, his eyes twinkling knowledgeably. "Of course not. Remus and I have already discussed it and we both find the agreement to our liking."

Remus spoke for the first time, surprising her, "I shall see you tomorrow for our final session before the moon. The usual time is still acceptable Dumbledore?"

"Tomorrow night. Now, Joanna, I do believe you should be in a lesson right now. Remus will escort you back."

Taking this to be his dismissal both Remus and Joanna left the headmaster's office awkwardly. They were halfway to Professor McGonagall's classroom when Joanna finally broke the silence.

"Remus I apologise for the trouble I seem to have caused."

Remus smiled tightly and nodded but didn't speak. He was beginning to remind Joanna of her father, which was never a good thing.

"Are you mad at me?" She asked, her voice small.

He sighed and stopped walking. She paused, uncertain, and waited for him to respond. He ran a weary hand over his eyes and slumped his shoulders. "I couldn't possibly be mad at you Joanna. You did not start the gossip nor have I witnessed you encourage it. If anything your display with Ron this morning should dispel the rumours, or at least switch the direction in which it focuses." He shot her a rueful smile before continuing, "Perhaps I was mistaken in what I saw the other night."

"Ron was just helping me avoid a confrontation with Lavender. She's the one who started everything."

Remus nodded, silently accepting her reasons but said nothing. They walked on a little further in silence before Joanna spoke again, just before the final corner of their walk.

"You weren't mistaken the other night." She said it quietly, to avoid being overheard, but knew Remus would hear what she said. Before he could respond she kissed him on the cheek and ran around the corner to McGonagall's classroom, apologising for her lateness and slipping into the seat Hermione had saved for her.


	8. Chapter 8

The next few days passed without any major events. Remus had cancelled their last session of the week citing a particularly difficult transformation. Lavender's detention with Snape had, it seemed, put her off spreading gossip about Joanna for the moment. The only problems Joanna had were Draco, who had taken to appearing at any given moment with an insult ready for her, and Ron, who seemed to be following her around a lot more recently.

Another problem was added to the list during Saturday's breakfast. Joanna and Hermione were making plans to visit Hogsmeade later in the day to visit a new book shop when the owl post arrived. Among the flurry of owls was the family owl, Arion, and he was heading for the Gryffindor table. This was not going to be fun.

Sure enough when she opened the letter it wasn't a loving one asking how her first week had gone. It was instead harsh in tone and demanding. It was from her father.

_Joanna,_

_I have heard you were sorted into Gryffindor. This disappoints me as I would have wished you into Slytherin where Malfoy's son could have looked after you. However in terms of your mission it provides a good cover. _

_However I am displeased with the lack of information you have relayed home. I am aware it has only been a week but did I not teach you Legilimency for reasons such as these?_

_You have until the end of the month to provide information that will be beneficial to our cause. If you fail then I will ask our master to provide the Draco boy as assistance to you. The choice resides with you._

_Your Father _

Joanna sighed and slowly ripped up the parchment, setting it on fire with her wand. The group stared at her in surprise. "What?" She asked when she noticed them all watching her in amazement.

"Bad news?" Ron asked tentatively.

She smiled softly at him and shook her head. "Not really. I'd rather not talk about it if that's okay with you all."

Hermione jumped into the conversation at once. "Of course it's fine with us. We wouldn't ask you to discuss anything you didn't want to."

Joanna nodded in acknowledgement and proceeded with breakfast, unaware of a blonde haired Slytherin hastily scribbling onto a parchment while watching her avidly.

It was a couple of days later when a house elf appeared in the common room where Joanna and Hermione were discussing animagus forms they'd like to take.

"Miss Jo, Miss Jo!"

Joanna looked up and located the owner of the squeaky voice, breaking out into a genuine smile. "Hello Winky, what's wrong?"

The house elf wrung her hands anxiously, hopping from one foot to the other. "Miss Jo, your father is here. He told Winky to get you. Oh Miss Jo, he's angry."

Joanna paled but rose up from her arm chair, shaking her head at Hermione who had also begun to sit up as if to follow her. "It's fine Hermione, it's probably best I go alone. Thank you Winky, I'll go and find him now." Winky nodded and a loud crack rang out across the room as she apparated to the kitchens.

Joanna ignored Ron, Harry and Hermione's worried voices and jogged to the entrance hall, where guests to the castles had to wait. Sure enough her father was standing at the foot of the staircase scowling at any student who glanced curiously in his direction. She wasn't sure but Joanna thought she even heard him growl at a small group of intrigued first years, who promptly half-ran and half-walked down the corridor and around the corner.

"Father," Joanna decided to bite the bullet and make the first point of contact. He turned to face her as she slowed her pace and descended the stairs to greet him in the stoic manner she was used to when it came to her family. "Is something the matter with mother?"

Mr Black regarded her coldly. "Your mother is fine. We have received some information from a well placed source within the school. You did not mention in your letter that you were taking private lessons with one of the Order. May I ask what exactly do you _do_ during these sessions with the werewolf Lupin?"

"He teaches me defence against the dark arts. I missed out because of my illness and took the opportunity to expand my knowledge."

"And why exactly would you need to know how to _defend_ yourself? Do you plan on fighting?"

"No father."

She had anticipated it really. She felt the familiar tug of her mind as her father attempted to break into her subconscious using Legilimency and was ready with her blocking spell. Her father's usually pale face flushed in anger. "What do you think you are doing? How dare you block me from accessing your thoughts? Surely you have not gone against your mission so soon after it started? Must I report to our master that your loyalty has changed?"

"Of course not father."

"Good, then you will not mind stopping them. I am assuming they are optional and not forced upon you?"

"No father, they are not forced upon us. I have taken it as my optional lesson for the term. The other options available were laughable; this was the best of a bad lot. My loyalty remains as it always has."

"Are there other subjects available in this private tuition? I was under the impression Severus ran one of them."

"Yes father he does. However he has been keen to distance himself from me and was vile towards me in the first lesson I had with him."

"You are too fragile Joanna. You will give up your lessons with the werewolf or your mission will be ruined."

"And if I refuse?"

Her father's eyes narrowed as he glared at her scornfully. "If you refuse then I will have to question your loyalties and consider myself childless."

"I am as loyal as I always have been. However I cannot and will not give up my extra sessions. I have already befriended the golden trio, his friends are particularly eager to welcome me. My extra sessions have been crucial in gaining their trust as they see me working with one of their own."

"Give them up Joanna or consider yourself an outcast."

"An outcast like uncle? Will you do to me what you did to him, father?"

A cry escaped her mouth as her father's hand struck her cheek unexpectedly. "No more." His tone was the coldest she'd ever heard it and his eyes their hardest. "You may remain loyal to the cause but you have disgusted me and darkened the family name."

"Meaning what, _father_?"

"I am not your father. You are no child of mine."

Before Joanna could respond her father had spun on his heel, cape swishing out behind him dramatically, and exited the castle, leaving Joanna speechless as she rubbed her stinging cheek.

_Meanwhile_

"Are you certain Remus? Joanna is very complex; could she simply have been placating her father?"

"She said she was as loyal to Voldermort as she had always been. How do you know she is trust worthy? She's fooled us all, tricked us."

Dumbledore sighed wearily. It was too soon into the new term for such large and critical issues to be being brought to him. Remus had burst into his room several minutes ago, breathlessly insisting he'd overheard Joanna Black admitting to her father that she was simply spying for Voldermort, having taken in the golden trio and himself to appear as if she were sympathetic to the Order and its cause.

"Let us give her a fair trial. I will be able to break down any barriers she puts up should I use Legilimency on her. Thank you for coming to me Remus."

Remus nodded, annoyed that Dumbledore refused to acknowledge the traitorous acts of the Black child. Mostly he was annoyed with himself. He was beginning to wholly trust her, something he had never done before, and it had all blown back in his face. He excused himself and returned to his office to brood in private.

"Winky?" Dumbledore called out to the empty room and moments later the house elf appeared in his office, bowing low in front of him.

"Yes sir?"

"Could you fetch Joanna Black for me please? I do believe her father has left the castle and she is alone now. I wish to speak to her urgently."

"Of course sir, I will fetch Miss Jo now." Winky squeaked, bowing low again before apparating out and leaving Dumbledore alone with his thoughts. The headmaster crossed the room to his pensive and drew out a memory, allowing it to trickle into the pool of memories. He hoped Remus was wrong. Joanna Black was precious, fragile and greatly important to them. More than that, Dumbledore was fond of the girl who reminded him so much of her uncle Sirius.

"Miss Jo, Headmaster Dumbledore wants to be seeing you in his office."

Joanna sniffed, wiped her eyes with the arm of her robe and smiled at Winky. "I'm on my way." She told the house elf, who hugged her leg in response before apparating back to the kitchens. Joanna slowly made her way to the headmaster's office, trying to make sense of all that had just happened. Someone had relayed to her father that she'd been having private lessons with Remus, she'd refused her father for the first time in years, her father had disowned her for her refusal…but her mission was still secure. She was still, for the meantime at least, safe from Voldermort and his army.

Without realising, Joanna had taken the most direct path to Dumbledore's office. She bumped into the statue guarding the stairway and tentatively tried the most recent password she knew. Much to her relief the guardian accepted her words and sprung aside, revealing the winding staircase up to the headmaster's office. The door was already open and Dumbledore was sat at his desk, observing the doorway over his interlinked fingers. He inclined his head in acknowledgement of her but made no other movement. Sensing something was wrong Joanna edged cautiously into the room and took the empty seat in front of Dumbledore. As she did so the door slammed shut behind her, making Joanna jump for she had forgotten Dumbledore could do wandless magic so discretely.

His eyes, usually so warm and welcoming, were harder than Joanna had ever seen them and she shuddered involuntarily. She felt a nudging at her mind and allowed the headmaster access, wondering what exactly he was searching for.

The conversation with her father floats to the forefront of her mind and as much as she wants to block Dumbledore out she allows him to see the conversation in its entirety. His eyes flicker with the quickest signs of grief when her father disowns her and strides away. Joanna remained silent, waiting for Dumbledore to speak and explain why she had been called to see him. He withdrew from her mind and pulled out his wand, pressing its point to his forehead and pulling out a memory to transfer to his pensive. When this is completed, he finally speaks to her;

"Your conversation was overheard, but only in part, and I'm afraid the witness assumed the worst in you and made haste to warn me of your treason to the Order."

A chill filled Joanna as she imagined who could have overheard the exchange with her father. Everyone she could think of was in the common room when she'd left. "Who was it, may I ask?"

Dumbledore examined her for a moment before speaking. "It was Remus."

Joanna paled and jumped up from her chair immediately. "Sir, may I be excused?" She whispered hoarsely, before staggering out of the room without waiting for a response and heading for a certain teacher's office.

She did not bother with knocking, choosing instead to burst into the room. "How _dare_ you," Were the first words she spat at the alarmed professor. "I let you into my mind, and I let you see things that nobody else knew about. I showed you the very worst thing; I let you go through all of my memories so that you would understand why I'm turning my back on my family and you automatically assume the worst in me?"

Remus, completely surprised by her dramatic arrival in his office, simply stared at her blinkingly. This, as he would later realise, was a mistake as it allowed her to continue venting at him.

"I endured summers of being prepared for becoming Malfoy's death eater wife and allowing Voldermort and his followers to do what they want to me…you saw what my father's spies were like with their leering and how I hated my life, how I wanted to escape it and pursue what was right in this war and you still accuse me of treachery? How _dare_ you!"

Remus' temper, having been pushed during her tirade, finally snapped. "How dare _I_? How dare _I_? I dare because I overheard your little conversation with your father and how you laughed at us all in the Order for taking in your little sob story. I think you're disgusting and I hope Dumbledore sends for the Dementors."

Not having expected the venom in his voice, Joanna slumped onto the floor and pulled her knees up to her chest. "You didn't hear it all," she whispered, "I don't have a father anymore."

Remus snorted and rolled his eyes, but Joanna could see a flicker of doubt in his previous conviction flash across his expression.

"My father, having received correspondence from Draco Malfoy, challenged my loyalty and hinted I would die if he thought I had changed my views. What you heard was me frantically lying to preserve my life. What you heard was me placating him as best as I knew," she took a deep breath and continued, her voice taking on a harsher note, "what you missed what him demanding I cut ties with my friends in Gryffindor and with you. He demanded I stop the lessons and any association with the Order. I refused and he promptly disowned me. I am now an orphan, for lack of a better word."

She sniffed, as the realisation of what had just happened finally hit her. Remus was instantly beside her, his scarred face twisted in anguish at what she'd just told him. "I'm sorry." He finally said. Joanna nodded, not entirely trusting herself to speak anymore. Remus placed a hand on her arm and she finally looked at him. "I really am sorry." He told her.

Joanna smiled wanly. "I know," she whispered, allowing him to pull her body back against his. She felt him kiss the top of her head and sniffed at the comforting gesture. They sat like that for some time until Remus felt his legs beginning to fall asleep. Reluctantly he nudged the girl in front of him.

"We should go back to Dumbledore."

"No."

"But why not? We need to discuss what will happen to you now."

"I don't want to!" She declared, fixing him with a determined stare that he had seen many times from another.

"I'll come with you and won't let anything you're unhappy with happen."

She considered his offer through narrowed eyes, as if deciding whether or not he was simply humouring her, before sighing and allowing herself to be pulled up from the floor. "Fine, to Dumbledore's office we go."


	9. Chapter 9

"Joanna, Remus, I was beginning to wonder if you had torn each other apart in your various rages. Please, have a seat."

Shooting a look at Remus, who nodded in encouragement, Joanna sat down in front of Dumbledore's desk, followed by Remus. Dumbledore then took his own seat, rested his elbows on his desk and placed his hands together, observing the pair of them over the tips of his fingers. "We must discuss how to proceed with matters. Joanna you, unfortunately, are unable to stay here permanently but you must be placed somewhere safe, preferably with a member of the Order. Remus, have you any objections?"

"No I agree Joanna must be kept safe, which family did you have in mind?"

"I meant you Remus."

Remus blanched in surprise and simply stared at the headmaster for several minutes. Dumbledore, for his part, merely continued to watch Remus and wait for him to respond vocally to the suggestion.

"I cannot take her Albus, it is far too dangerous. I live in isolation, should her location be discovered we could easily be outnumbered before anyone from Order is able to assist. Not to mention who would protect her during my transformations, or how it would be viewed by her classmates. She is already having trouble from them for our sessions, or had you forgotten?"

Remus was now glaring at Dumbledore, offended on her behalf that Dumbledore had apparently forgotten the reason behind her father's visit in the first place.

The room fell into silence as both men considered various options. Joanna decided she had to speak up before her own future was taken out of her hands once again. "Professor Dumbledore?" She spoke timidly, hoping her suggestion would be welcomed, "would it not be more sensible for me to be placed in a family who are used to the kind of danger I would pose to them? Would a family such as the Weasleys not be a prudent decision? I believe they are used to protective spells due to having Harry stay with them many times and I've heard from Harry and Hermione how much of a maternal influence Mrs Weasley is for them both. I have my own vault at Gringotts that my parents do not have access to, something set up by my great-great-grandfather for several generations after him. It is sizeable enough to more than subsidise them for any extra expense I would be."

Dumbledore frowned at her, deep in thought. "I do believe that is a wise idea Miss Black." He stood up, taking a handful of powder from a small flowerpot in front of him and throwing it into the fireplace's grate. At once the dying embers of the previous fire roared up again, the flames a vivid emerald that reminded Joanna of Harry's eyes. Dumbledore stuck his head into the flames and bellowed out the Weasley's address.

Joanna was so occupied in watching Dumbledore that she did not hear Remus get up from his chair. As such, she started when she felt someone take her hand and squeeze it gently. She turned around to face him and saw a look of pure gratitude on his face. "Thank you," he told her softly, "the Weasleys could protect you so much more than I could on my own." She smiled back at him before returning her attention to the fireplace as Dumbledore stepped back and held out his hand for a ginger haired woman wearing an apron covered in flour and several burn marks.

"Joanna, allow me to introduce you to Molly Weasley; your new mother."

**A.N. Blah I know, it's a really short chapter but I needed something little to get flowing again with this story. Fear not, I am back writing this properly and have (for once) a plan!**


	10. Chapter 10

It had been several days since Molly Weasley had agreed to Dumbledore's request regarding Joanna. For now, Dumbledore had advised, it was best to keep the situation quiet while Molly and Arthur set up the necessary boundary protections around the Burrow. As such, the only people aware of the new situation were Joanna, Remus, Dumbledore, Molly and Arthur. Joanna had fought to be allowed to tell Harry, Ron and Hermione – given she would be living with one of them permanently – but Dumbledore had insisted she remain silent on the matter for now. She was, however, permitted to inform them that her father had disowned her and divulge that Dumbledore was organising somewhere for her to stay.

Her sessions with Remus continued and she was making more progress at Legilimency. She was also coming closer to producing a corporeal patronus, something that she had always had great difficulty with when forced into private tutor lessons by her father the previous summer. Now, Joanna's greatest difficulty was deciphering what exactly was going on with Remus. She knew that student-teacher relationships were wrong in the way she was considering it with him, but she also knew well enough not to break that boundary and get caught. She was, however, confused about how the man in question felt. He treated her exactly the same as Harry, Ron and Hermione in class and around the school and yet when they had their private sessions together, she was certain that there was a deeper emotional attachment there.

As Remus handed her a square of chocolate, the question slipped out. "Remus, how do you feel about me?"

Remus spluttered in surprise and blinked at her before recovering his usual calm exterior. "I think you are a very admirable and capable student Miss Black. I am very fond of you."

She rolled her eyes at him. "You are hiding something" she informed him. Remus paled and Joanna wondered if her suspicions were right. "You have feelings for me, feelings that you think are inappropriate because I am a student and you are my teacher. You feel it would be a spurge against Dumbledore's kindness in providing you with reliable employment were you to allow yourself to acknowledge said feelings and act on them knowing as you do that they are returned by me." Joanna made her way around Remus' desk so she was standing right in front of him, rather than across the room. She could see his Adam's apple throbbing nervously. "You would rather deny yourself and retain your integrity and standing of moral conscience in front of Dumbledore and the rest of the Order as they are the only ones who have never rejected you for being a werewolf. You feel you do not deserve to be fully happy, and so settle to be accepted rather than accept happiness offered and risk rejection from those few who matter most to you, as their rejection would be all the more painful than that which you have been forced to accustom yourself to." Joanna paused to cast a well-trained eye over Remus' facial expression. He looked horrified, almost like he'd been caught doing something he shouldn't. She was right. "Is what I say true, Remus?" She asked softly, pushing him for an answer.

His eyes wide and a look of shame lurking in the background, Remus nodded. "Yes" he said, his voice hoarse, "it's true."

Joanna leant back against the desk and surveyed him calmly. "I won't force you into anything" she told him. Remus snorted.

"Ironic, isn't it me who's suppose to be telling you that?"

"I won't force you into anything," Joanna repeated, ignoring Remus' flippant comment, "however I will assure you that my feelings are real and are not some ill-placed schoolgirl crush, nor are they because I am in any way indebted to you for your help up until now. My feelings are real and I can wait until a time when you feel it is more appropriate for us to discuss this again."

Remus nodded, relief seeping into his features.

"I do have one request though,"

Remus looked up sharply, "and what is that?" He asked guardedly.

"May I have at least one kiss, should you change your mind in the future?"

Joanna bit her lip as Remus regarded her with an unreadable expression. She saw his eyes flicker towards the doorway and thought that he had heard someone coming. However she did not miss the door locking spell he mumbled under his breath and realised he was merely protecting their privacy, should anybody come looking for them. Remus inched himself around so that he was standing directly in front of her. Joanna felt her breath hitch as he moved towards her with deliberate slowness until his body was just touching hers. "Just one" he reminded her quietly before closing the tantalisingly small distance between them and pressing his lips against hers. His lips were warm and tasted like the chocolate they had been sharing earlier. She could also detect honeycomb and wondered if he had been indulging in his own chocolate feast before she had arrived. She jerked in surprise when one of his arms wrapped themselves around her waist and pinned her tightly against him as he deepened his kiss. Joanna sighed against his lips contentedly. It was then Remus pulled away, his face flushed and breathing ragged. Their eyes met and Joanna knew that he was struggling with holding back. "Just one" he said jerkily, reminding himself more than her. Joanna nodded and silently moved back around the desk.

Focusing on what had just happened between them, Joanna gripped her wand in her hand and said the incantation they'd been practising all evening. A giant shaggy dog burst out of the tip of her wand and ran around the room, nudging Remus with its head. Remus started at it in amazement then back to Joanna.

"I think I found my memory" was all she said before she unlocked his door and headed back to Gryffindor tower.


	11. Chapter 11

"Good morning Joanna, may I speak with you for a moment?"

Joanna rose from her seat and followed the headmaster out of the great hall, wondering what exactly he could possibly have to tell her so urgently. "Your home is ready," he informed her, "I suggest you fully divulge matters to Hermione, Ron, Harry and Ginny. Feel free to emphasise most clearly how it was I who restricted you from telling them, I feel it will soften the blow of your secret somewhat. For your first holiday home you shall floo rather than travel on the Hogwarts Express with the others, for safety and to allow yourself some time to become accustomed to your new home without the many interruptions I am told happen at the Burrow."

"Thank you sir, I shall tell them after breakfast."

"Ah yes, breakfast! Come; let us not be deprived from our morning nutrition." Dumbledore held an arm out in front of him, indicating for Joanna to head back into the great hall ahead of him. Joanna nodded in farewell and made her way back to her space, ignoring the curious looks various Gryffindors were throwing her way.

"Wassat 'bout?" Ron asked, his mouth full of scrambled eggs and toast. Hermione grimaced at him and edged out of the food fly zone just as a crust flew out of Ron's mouth and hit the table where Hermione's hand had been moments before.

"Nice Ron, how about swallowing and then talking?" Ginny suggested from opposite her brother and flicking some toast away from her own plate "as amazing as Hogwarts' food is, none of us want it from your mouth."

Ron glared at his sister, chewed and swallowed before turning back to an amused Joanna. "What was that about?" He repeated.

"I need to talk to you all after breakfast," Joanna informed them, watching expressions change from neutral to intrigued (Hermione), concerned (Harry), suspicious (Ginny) and confused (Ron). "I can't tell you here and why I must tell you privately will be explained once I've spoken to you" she continued, pre-empting Ron's question, "is there anywhere we can speak in absolute privacy? Nobody can overhear this."

Harry nodded "I know a place" he promised, before turning back to his breakfast and conversation with Ginny as if nothing had happened.

After a while of badgering her, Ron too returned to his food. Hermione, who had already finished, was chatting with Joanna about classes when Remus walked past them.

"Good morning professor Lupin!" Hermione called out happily, attracting the man's attention. He was halfway through walking towards them when he locked eyes with Joanna. Both of them blushed and Remus appeared to stumble back somewhat before raising a hand in greeting and hastily making his way towards the teacher's table. Hermione frowned. "That was odd" she said, turning back to Joanna "Joanna you look a bit flushed, are you okay?"

"Yes, yes I am fine thank you. I am just nervous about how to tell you all my news."

Hermione frowned at Joanna but let the subject drop, returning to their previous conversation about classes until they were all ready to leave.

Harry led them all to the Room of Requirement, nobody except Joanna looking confused when Harry paced up and down outside a seemingly random wall on the seventh floor, and ushered them inside once the door appeared. Once inside they all settled on the bean bags scattered around the small room, the others all turning to look at Joanna expectantly.

"My name is Joanna Black and I am a spy for Dumbledore. My parents are heavily involved with Voldermort's regime, although my mother desires to be free from it. She worked out Snape was a spy and convinced him to arrange a meeting with Dumbledore. She took me with her, wanting a better way of life for me than married off to a death eater of my father's choice – Draco Malfoy. Dumbledore informed my mother it was too much of a risk for her to turn spy as she was weak to my father and Voldermort's Legilimency. I, however, had been trained in resisting for a while and would be above suspicion for some time given my age."

She paused for a moment to gauge their reactions before continuing.

"It was agreed that mother would plant an idea in father's head about sending me to Hogwarts to spy on the Order members closer to my age – such as yourselves – and get closer to Draco Malfoy in preparation for our intended marriage. My father agreed and, along with Snape, convinced Voldermort of the plan's success. Of course Voldermort was too arrogant to dream one of his most loyal followers would have a child who would dare go against him. Lupin has been training me further in our sessions. However it appears Draco has been reporting to my father about said sessions. He showed up at the school recently and demanded I withdraw from the sessions with Lupin and transfer to sessions with Snape. I refused and he ended up disowning me. Dumbledore was speaking to me this morning about the family who are taking me in; they are part of the Order and had to be briefed about my mission before I could discuss it with anyone. They also had to add extra protection to their home should my father try and find me."

Unable to hold back any longer, Hermione broke in to the stunned silence that had fallen once Joanna finished speaking. "What family has taken you in?"

Joanna glanced nervously at Ron and Ginny "the Weasleys are my new family. Molly agreed as soon as she'd heard my story from Dumbledore."

There was a clatter as Ron pushed himself up from his beanbag and stormed out of the room, kicking out at a small table he passed. Harry gazed after him and sighed despondently. "Don't worry about Ron. He's just upset because he wanted to ask you to Hogsmeade this weekend but Molly told him not to when he mentioned it in a letter, and now he's just found out the reason why. He needs a bit of time to cool off, perhaps be yelled at by Hermione for a while, and he'll be fine."

A pale Joanna nodded in response, still unsure of herself and how the rest of them felt about what she'd just told them. Harry and Hermione seemed to be having a silent conversation while Ginny was staring at her with a curious expression on her face.

Finally, Harry turned back to Joanna, took a deep breath and spoke, "Joanna, I think it's time we told you about your uncle, Sirius Black."


	12. Chapter 12

Joanna stared at them in confusion. "Told me? Told me what?" There was an awkward silence and Ron began nervously rubbing the back of his head. "Ron? What's happening? Why are you all looking so worried?"

Hermione stood from her seat and sat on the floor next to Joanna, placing a hand on her shoulder. Ron and Ginny were refusing to meet her gaze and Harry had begun to pace a small patch of floor in front of her.

"Harry? What do you mean, tell me about my uncle? What do you need to tell me?"

Harry stopped his pacing and shot Hermione a helpless look. Hermione sighed and Joanna could imagine the glare that Harry was on the receiving end of.

"Joanna, Sirius died a few years ago. I'm sorry."

It was Hermione who spoke but Joanna never looked away from Harry. He remained determined to avoid looking at her but she could see the pain in his eyes when Hermione relayed the news, almost as if he was hearing it for the first time all over again.

"What happened?"

"There was a battle in the Department of Mysteries. It was believed Voldermort was keeping Sirius there and torturing him. We went to rescue him. But it was a trap. The Order, including Sirius, found out what we had done and a team came to help us. Bellatrix killed him and his body fell into the Veil."

"What's the veil?"

"Nobody really knows, hence why it's in the Department of Mysteries, all we know is once you fall in then you can't return."

"I don't understand. Why would you go there if you thought he was in danger? Surely the Order would have been able to tell you he was safe?"

Out of the corner of her eye Joanna saw Hermione, Ron and Ginny glance anxiously at Harry, who had stopped pacing. He took a deep breath and finally looked at her, his eyes wrought with shame. "Because of me, that's why. The trap was to lure me to Voldermort, to get a prophecy only one of us could touch. Obviously he couldn't just stroll into the Ministry and ask for it so I had to get it for him. Sirius was used because he was my godfather, he was my dad's best friend, and the closest I'd ever come to having a proper family of my own. I acted rashly and caused the very thing I was trying to prevent from happening."

Ginny was immediately at Harry's side, placing a consoling arm around his shoulder. Harry seemingly slumped against her and Ron took up the story. "Sirius was antsy; he'd been stuck in Grimmauld Place for years after he escaped from Azkaban, totally innocent by the way, he'd been framed by Peter Pettigrew."

"I've heard of him, I heard my parents talking about him. My mother said he was creepy"

Ron grinned lopsidedly at her, "Creepy is right! He's an unregistered animagus, a rat, and managed to live with my family for years in his animal form. He was killed in a battle over the summer."

Joanna nodded slowly, remembering the whispers she'd overheard as she had been at home during the holidays. "Harry," she said, as something dawned on her, "you said your dad and my uncle were best friends. Does that mean Remus was their friend as well? I heard something about the Marauders while my parents were discussing your father and Peter."

"That's right, but surely Remus mentioned it in passing at very least?" Hermione asked. Joanna shook her head, confusion setting in. "How odd, Remus is usually the best out of most of the Order when it comes to discussing Sirius. Perhaps…no I doubt it's anything."

"Perhaps what?"

"Well maybe the time he spends with you reminds him of Sirius and he finds it difficult. It would explain why he sometimes seems distant towards you and why he never mentioned Sirius. He acted similarly with Harry right after Sirius' death, as Harry was so close with Sirius, but is now fine. You, an actual relative – not to snub your relationship with him Harry – who often shows similarities in behaviour to his friend and who can look rather eerily like the woman who murdered him – Sirius' cousin Bellatrix Lestrange, your aunt – would rationally provoke such a response."

"Oh, I see"

Ron rubbed the back of his head again, clearly uncomfortable with Joanna's crestfallen look. "Or it could not be that. Sometimes Remus has quiet days; I mean the bloke's lost three of his best friends in pretty quick succession. It's enough to make anyone mope every now and then. Don't worry about it Joanna. Look, we've got the morning off lessons so let's go back to the common room and I'll let you all watch me beat Harry at chess again."

Ginny laughed and rubbed Harry's arm in mock consolation when he looked affronted at Ron's suggestion. "Is that a challenge?" He asked, drawing himself up to full height.

"Yeah, yeah it is." Ron replied cockily. Beside Joanna, Hermione rolled her eyes at the boy's antics while Ginny giggled.

"Well then, to the common room!" Harry declared as he ran to the door, dragging Ginny behind him.

"Oi, wait for me!" Ron yelled, chasing after them.

Hermione sighed, "come on Joanna," she said wearily, "let's go keep them in check."

"Let's"

As they walked back to the common room Joanna could see Hermione looking at her guiltily every few minutes.

"Hermione, what's wrong?" Joanna eventually asked.

"Look, Joanna, please don't take what I said about Remus as true. Ron is, as rarely as I say this, right. Remus might just have off days, and I might be reading too much into this. Please don't be upset."

Wanting to reassure her Joanna forced a smile, "it's fine Hermione, really, you have nothing to worry about. Now let's go control the boys."

Hermione nodded and they continued to the common room, where they could hear Ron and Harry loudly trading exaggerated claims of chess greatness. However, as she followed Hermione through the portrait hole, Joanna couldn't help but feel that actually Hermione's theory was much closer to the truth than Ron's.


	13. Chapter 13

_Quick note: I know Ron seems to magically reappear in the room…he stormed out but hovered outside because he's a nosy git and overhead Harry mention Sirius and slid back in because he's not so much of a git not to be there for Joanna when this all came out!_

"Joanna, are you alright? You seem rather distracted this evening. In fact you've seemed distracted in every session we've had this week." Remus' eyes were kind and full of concern as he examined her face. Joanna felt her face heat up and knew she was blushing. She shook her head and smiled at him, speaking only to continue practising the spell Remus was teaching her that night.

Remus raised a sceptical eyebrow but followed her lead. "Okay, the next spell that should come in handy is-"

"Why didn't you tell me?" She demanded suddenly, gripping her wand tightly by her side. Remus' gaze flicked down to its sparking end and reflexively tightened his grip on his own wand.

"Tell you what Joanna?" He asked calmly.

"About Sirius. About who he was, about what happened to him. Why did you keep that from me? You made it sound like he could drop in at any moment, like he was on holiday. But he's dead."

To his credit Remus paled significantly and looked ashamed with himself. He took a step towards her but Joanna stepped back, anger evident on her face.

"For the first time I thought I had family, I thought I had someone who wasn't part of Voldermort's followers, someone who could take me in and provide me with an escape from my father. _You_ gave me that hope by not being honest with me from the beginning!"

"I'm sorry" he croaked out "that wasn't my intention, I swear. I presumed, foolishly perhaps, that Harry or one of the others would tell you once your family name was made known."

"Well they didn't," she responded stiffly, "I was only told last week after I revealed my mission to them. He was one of your closest friends and yet, when I asked you about him, you spoke about him as if he were merely an acquaintance; someone you knew of vaguely through the Order but not well enough to call him a friend. What else haven't you told me? What else have you kept? I know your biggest secret so why did you keep this from me?"

"Because it hurts to talk about him still." Remus admitted, "I have lost all three of my best friends and I was slowly beginning to cope with it, to move on, when you come in and start asking questions about him and bringing everything back up again. I couldn't cope with saying it out loud, it was easier to keep your mind off it."

"Is that all these sessions are to you? A distraction? Our time together is only a way for you to forget your pain? What am I Remus, a coping mechanism for your grief?"

"No, of course not. I genuinely enjoy our time together."

"I'm not so sure. Me turning my back on my family reminds you of him, doesn't it?"

"Don't be so foolish Joanna; while your actions are similar I would like to think I could see the difference between the two of you. Besides there are differences in your scenario to his, not to mention circumstances. Sirius left his family just as Voldermort was coming to the height of his power when his family _made_ him choose. He left and had nowhere but James' place to go. You left of your own accord, you sought out Dumbledore and requested to leave, requested to be a spy. If anything your plan was more similar to Professor Snape's than Sirius' path."

"How _dare _you! Snape may have chosen to become spy but only after Harry's mother was threatened. His motives were selfish, he was perfectly happy being a Death Eater until that moment, whereas I was disgusted as soon as I was introduced to that world and way of thinking and was desperate to escape it as soon as I could. You know what I endured living there and while I wish I could have got my mother out of her situation as well as myself I was glad when my father made me choose because it meant that could no longer continue. And even now, I'm thinking day and night of how to free my mother. So don't you dare compare me to Snape when I'm nothing like him."

Remus drooped, ashamed at how upset he'd made her. "I'm sorry," he whispered, "I should have told you from the start."

Joanna stopped pacing and the rage she felt inside died at his tone, replaced instead with a new kind of grief. "Yes," she replied equally quiet, "you should have."

She left the office before Remus could speak or move again, allowing the door to click shut behind her. As tears brimmed and she furiously wiped them away, Joanna bumped into someone. "Sorry" she mumbled, distractedly, not looking up from the floor. She made to move around them but they side-stepped so they were in front of her again. Joanna made to move to the other side but, again, they copied her movements. Frustrated, she looked up. Draco stood smirking in front of her.

"Lost again are we Joanna? You really should let me take you on my private tour of the castle." He leered.

Joanna resisted the temptation to mock-vomit and smiled. "Not lost, I simply wasn't looking where I was going. If you'll excuse me…"

She went to edge around Draco but he grabbed her wrist at the last second and pushed her against the wall. "I like to think myself a patient person," he said, his breath hot against her neck "but you are certainly trying it. I will get you one day, whether you want me or not."

Joanna said nothing and was surprised when Draco allowed her to push him away and leave without any form of retribution. Anxiously, in case it was some kind of elaborate plan, she hurried straight to Gryffindor and sought out Hermione and Ginny.

"I need to talk to you." She said, cutting across their conversation, "before Ron and Harry appear. I don't want them knowing this. Can we go somewhere where we won't be overheard or interrupted?"

The two girls stared at Joanna curiously but nodded and followed her to the girl's dormitory. "What's wrong?" Hermione asked, "is it what we told you yesterday?"

Joanna sighed and fell back onto her bed. "Yes…no…oh everything is so confusing!" She cried out, pounding the bed in frustration. "I confronted Remus about not telling me about Sirius and we had a fight. But now I feel terrible…I think I have feelings for him. Feelings a student should not be having about a teacher."

Ginny giggled but Hermione, for once, looked unsure about what was being said.

"Hermione!" Ginny sighed, exasperated, "Joanna is saying she has a crush on Remus!"

"Oh!" Hermione gasped, amazed that such a thing should happen. "Are you sure?" She asked Joanna.

"It's not a crush," Joanna bit out at Ginny, "I think I'm falling in love with him."


	14. Chapter 14

Both girls stared at her, aghast, before Ginny snorted. "But he's so _old_!" Hermione glared at Ginny, "to consider in that kind of context. I adore Remus as much as the rest of the Order but he's more father figure than…well my dream guy. Back me up Hermione, you have to admit it's odd."

Hermione simply frowned and slowly shook her head. "Actually, it's not as strange as it may first seem. Joanna is older than both of us by several years, in fact if my memory is correct you are nearly twenty?" Joanna nodded and waited, wondering where Hermione was going with this, "and she's vastly mature for her age anyway so it would make sense that an older man such as Remus would be more appealing to her than the immature, inexperienced boys that are closer to her age."

"Still weird" sang Ginny

"Harry's older than you, is that weird?"

"He's older by a _year_ Hermione; we're not talking the odd few months' age difference here. There's a good decade between them!" Ginny thought for a moment "in fact, I'm pretty sure that their age difference is my exact age!"

"Oh honestly, so I like an older man." Joanna snapped, frustrated at Ginny's protests, "Your parents have a few years between them and look at how in love they are!"

Ginny paused, taken aback by Joanna's argument, "how do you know that?"

"Molly told me, we were speaking about Remus. I didn't say anything but I think she guessed my feelings as she randomly brought up that there was an age difference between her and Arthur."

"Besides, Remus will live longer than most wizards due to his condition so in theory having someone younger than him as a spouse will prove an advantage in the long run."

Ginny was now silent, and it was Joanna's turn to splutter, "spouse? I think we're getting a bit ahead of ourselves here Hermione. I hardly think he has such intentions towards me, not least due to the argument we just had."

"Argument?"

"We fought about him not telling me about Sirius in the first place and I accused him of projecting his grief onto me."

"Well that was stupid."

"Ginny!"

"But it was!"

Joanna laughed and shook her head, "to be fair, it was pretty stupid but I was so upset about him not telling me and then suddenly we're shouting at each other and I'm walking out of his office." She sighed and sank down onto a nearby bed, "this is all such a mess" she whispered, distractedly running a hand through her hair and tugging on the end of it, "what am I going to do?"

Hermione lifted her hands in surrender and shook her head, backing away. "I am not someone you come to for male advice. Book and logic, sure, come to me and ask me anything. But I am clueless when it comes to boys. It took me seven years to realise Ron fancied me and a war for us to kiss. I am hopeless. But Ginny on the other hand…"

Both girls turned to look at Ginny who seemed to already be formulating a plan. "Well this will have made him emotional and it's full moon in a fortnight, so Remus' emotions are beginning to go a bit haywire right now. I think talking to him about this would be a problem now as he's more likely to get offended or lose him temper. Wait until after he's recovered from the full moon and then bring it up again. Although maybe accusing him of using you as a coping mechanism is best left alone, even the most rational, calm and inoffensive guy would get offended at that."

"I agree, studies have shown that those affected by the werewolf curse are much more volatile the week before their transformation is due."

Joanna and Ginny laughed, "and we're back to logical explanations" said Ginny.

At that moment there was a knock at the door and a first year shyly peered around the door, "excuse me, but a red headed boy made me come up here and ask for his girlfriend."

Hermione rolled her eyes, smiled kindly at the first year and headed downstairs. Joanna and Ginny waited until they'd heard her shout "Ronald Weasley, you do not treat the first years as slaves!" before heading back downstairs themselves. Joanna shook her head as they heard Ron respond "but I can't come up the stairs and you'd been gone ages!"

Ginny slipped into an armchair in the corner of the room and smiled at Harry when he looked over towards her. She, however, made no move to join him as she usually would have when left alone with Joanna. "Are you not going to go and sit with him?" Joanna asked, "you usually run away from me at the first opportunity."

Joanna jumped as Ginny let out a groan and slapped her forehead "I need to apologise for that, don't I?" Joanna simply stared at her, bewildered, "I'm still wary from the war, particularly with families who are best known for their involvement in the dark arts. Despite what the others said I tend to be overly cautious with new people until they've proved themselves. However I did judge you too quickly so I'm sorry for that, and for not giving you a chance. I should have known better, especially when Remus began spending all that extra time with you. Despite what you say, extra sessions are only meant to go on for an hour so he's got to like something about you to spend four or five hours a night with you."

"Am I really gone that long every session?"

Ginny was about to reply when Hermione jumped up from her seat next to Ron, "Ronal Weasley you arse!" She stormed over to Ginny and Joanna, slumping into an armchair between them. When Ginny raised an eyebrow Hermione cocked her head and raised her own eyebrows "well he is!"

"I wasn't arguing with you, he's my brother so I know he is. Anyway, yes you are gone that long _every_ session. At one point I was beginning to think Lavender was right about you two and that you were having a clandestine affair."

Joanna snorted. "I wish" she said under her breath. Both girls heard her. Hermione flushed bright red while Ginny just smirked.

A few days later and the first Hogsmeade weekend finally came. Ron was still slightly grumpy about not being able to take Joanna as his date but it had been agreed that they would go as a group then separate for certain shops, such as Quidditch or books. The girls were just arranging where to meet the boys again when Tonks and Remus strode past them, obviously bickering.

"… I just don't understand _why _Remus" Tonks was saying.

"I've already told you why Tonks, please just accept it."

"Not until you tell me properly. Who is she?"

The group discretely followed Remus and Tonks as they walked, curious as to what had upset Tonks so much. The pair remained oblivious to their presence and continued arguing, Remus growing steadily wearier.

"What are you talking about Tonks?" He asked, rubbing his forehead as if he was developing a particularly nasty headache.

"Who is the woman you are interested in, the reason you keep turning me down every time I ask you on a date?"

"I never said anything about there being someone else Tonks"

"Fine," Tonks snapped, turning on her heel to face Remus, "_is_ there another woman?"

"I see no reason for you to need that information"

"Is there?"

Remus sighed, "yes" he whispered, finally admitting defeat.

Tonks took a step back, visually surprised that she had actually been right. "There is? Who is it? Please tell me," she lowered her gaze to the floor, looking devastated, "please."

Remus rocked back onto his heels, buying himself some time to think up an answer. However as he was taking so long to reply, Tonks looked up. As she did, she saw the group watching them. At first she smiled, seeing Harry and Ginny at the front of the group. But she suddenly drew her wand out.

"Harry move, Bellatrix is behind you."

Reacting instinctively Harry dove to the side, dragging Ginny with him. Before any of them could react Tonks pointed her wand at Joanna and shouted out a curse. As the jolt of red light flashed towards her Joanna stood, frozen with confusion and fright. At the last moment the spell stopped and rebounded skyward.

Remus had deflected the spell.

"You fool, Bellatrix is _dead_ Tonks. You saw the body yourself."

Tonks said nothing, simply turning on her heel and striding away. Ginny and Hermione took their boyfriends' hands and discretely led them away, leaving Joanna and Remus alone.

Remus closed the short distance between them and placed a hand on her shoulder, jolting Joanna out of her trance. She looked up at him, wide-eyed.

"Are you okay?" He asked, his fingers absentmindedly rubbing a circle on her shoulder. Joanna nodded and glanced curiously at his hand on her shoulder. Remus instantly removed it. "Sorry," he said, "that was probably inappropriate."

"No," Joanna finally managed, "it was nice. Comforting."

He nodded, "I, er, I need to talk to you. In private. Will you walk with me?"

She hesitated for a moment before slipping her arm through his proffered one and allowing him to lead them out of the village and towards a building she recognised immediately.

"The shrieking shack?"

"There's hardly anywhere else we will be afforded the luxury of private conversation."

Joanna hummed her agreement and followed him through the hole in rundown fence. The floor was carpeted in dust and the old boards groaned in complaint with each step they took. The wind of the day reminded them of its presence with its whistling and banging shutters against decaying-looking walls. Joanna shivered a bit at how creepy the building was in the daytime; she'd barely noticed before when Dumbledore had told her to come here with Remus because the night had been still and she'd been so excited about entering Hogwarts. Remus noticed and pulled her closer to him, offering his warmth to her.

They entered a sitting room which looked a lot worse off than the room Joanna had been in before. The furniture – what was left of it – was ripped and shredded, with scraps of material from the sofa and armchairs lazily twirling around the floor.

"My transformation room," Remus supplied, "I'm afraid it's the only room left with furniture now. The bedroom was destroyed in Harry's third year, but that's a story for later." He had been pacing around the room as he spoke, leaving Joanna in the middle feeling a bit like his prey. Finally he turned to her, his eyes heavy with something she couldn't describe. "Let's talk."


	15. Chapter 15

"I wanted to apologise for my behaviour over the last few weeks. I was out of line and there were certain things that I should not have done-"

It was here Joanna cut him off, "like what?"

"Well I shouldn't have kissed you that night in my office…"

"So you're saying you regret it? That you don't actually have feelings for me?"

Remus sighed. "I'm not saying that Joanna, but I am your teacher and I should not have allowed that to happen. Regardless of how we think we feel it's inappropriate for our circumstances."

"How we _think_ we feel?" Joanna echoed, her voice raising several octaves in anger. "Well I don't know what you _think_ but I _know_ how I feel about you and I've made that perfectly clear several times!"

Remus stepped forward, his hands moving to place themselves on the tops of her arms to calm her down, but Joanna backed away, an ugly scowl marring her features.

"I don't _think_ I want you touching me, _Professor_" She spat at him, attempting now to side step around him before he could see her cry for she could feel the tears already threatening to come. She wouldn't let him see her cry, see her weak.

"Joanna, please" he begged, following her movements and stopping her from leaving.

She stopped attempted to get past him and slumped, keeping her gaze trained on the floor as the tears finally gained victory over her own will. She sniffed.

"Joanna," Remus said questioningly, "Joanna are you crying?"

She couldn't speak but shook her head furiously, "please just let me go" she pleaded hoarsely.

There was the sound of footsteps, the door squeaked in protest as it was pulled open and then shut. Joanna looked up, thinking Remus had just left. However he was standing in front of the shut door, watching her. She sniffed again and tried to blink her tears away. When she opened her eyes again Remus was stood in front of her, his hands rubbing up and down her arms. Joanna unconsciously moved closer into his semi-embrace. One of Remus' hands moved up to her hair and began stroking it, knowing it would be the only thing to calm her down. They stayed that way for several minutes, silently taking and accepting comfort from each other.

Eventually Joanna stepped back and wiped her eyes, pulling the sleeves of her jumper down over the end of her hands to do so before crossing her arms. "Thanks" she mumbled, almost shyly.

"I do care about you Joanna, please forgive me. I'm afraid I don't always think about my words before I speak when I am around you. I find myself rather impulsive where you're concerned, something that would doubtless amuse my friends if they were still here."

"Remus…"

"I don't understand what this is between us Joanna, for all I know I could be merely flattered by your attention. It has been a long time…"

"So why did you say no to Tonks?"

"Because I wasn't sure. As it is, we cannot allow any feelings to manifest themselves at Hogwarts, it would get you in a lot of trouble."

"What do you suggest? We can't just leave things like this."

Remus sighed and ran a hand through his hair but said nothing, obviously attempting to think of the best solution.

"You are aware, Remus, that we're not on school grounds at the moment. Not technically anyway. So if something _were_ to happen it technically wouldn't be happening between a student and a teacher, but two mature adults."

He frowned, confused, "I don't understand."

"They're feelings Remus, you can't always understand them." Was all Joanna said before stepping back to stand in front of him and reaching up to loop her hands behind his neck.

"Joanna," Remus said warningly, despite finding himself reacting to her closeness; wrapping an arm around her waist and pulling her closer.

"Remus" Joanna teased, smiling coyly up at him, "I'll stop if you wish. If it will ease your conscience then I'll go away and we can go back to pretending that we don't have these feelings for each other. We can bury them away again and torment ourselves."

"I can't do that, denying you is torture, I don't think you fully understand the effect you have on me. I feel younger when I'm with you, I want to so much," The hand he had on her hip was absentmindedly making circles on it and his other hand cupped her face, getting her to look at him, "I want _you_ so much."

With those words Remus leant down and slowly kissed her. Joanna pressed herself against him, moulding their bodies together.

Remus was the one who broke the kiss, he pulled back and looked at her warily, "as you can see, I have no real control when it comes to you" he told her, kissing her quickly again, "I just can't."

Joanna blinked slowly up at him, "Christmas" she replied dazedly. Remus frowned in confusion and she laughed "you said we can't work out our feelings while we're at Hogwarts, so why not work them out at Christmas. I'm assuming you'll be spending it at Headquarters? Mrs Weasley told me that we're going there for Christmas too. Something about the Burrow still being repaired."

He nodded "Headquarters is my home, I don't have anywhere else. I think at Christmas would be the most logical place to…discuss what is happening."

"Christmas it is then" Joanna said, beaming up at him, cheekily pulling him in for one last kiss. "I'll see you at Headquarters," she whispered before slipping out of the room and back to Hogsmeade to find Hermione and Ginny.


	16. Chapter 16

_Christmas_

"Merry Christmas Hermione!" Ginny, who seemed to be able to bolt out of bed at any given moment and always be cheerful, was practically bouncing on her bed when Hermione blearily opened one eye to glare at her.

"Merry Christmas Ginny" Hermione groaned, still half asleep and wondering if Ginny would let her get away with simply rolling over and going back to sleep.

Just as she was about to try it, their bedroom door swung open and Joanna skipped in, her hair tied up with red and gold tinsel.

"Good morning and merry Christmas!" She trilled, beaming at them both. Hermione moaned and fell back against her pillow, a hand covering her eyes. Joanna frowned at her, "what's wrong with Hermione?" She asked Ginny.

Ginny rolled her eyes, "our Hermione isn't a morning person, and she needs at least an hour of quiet to wake up properly." She turned to look at Hermione "shall we leave you up here and distract mum for a bit before she makes her wake up rounds?"

Hermione mumbled something under her breath and then sat up, blinking at the sunlight streaming in through a crack in the curtains. "No it's fine, I'm up. Chances are Mrs Weasley would be up here as soon as she saw you two without me anyway. Does anyone know if the boys are up yet?"

Ginny wandered over to the wardrobe and leaned towards the small gap behind it. She could hear scuffling of feet and what sounded like Harry telling Ron to wake up.

"Well Harry definitely is, I think Ron's trying to avoid Harry's wake up tactics though…" she smirked and banged on the wall "wake up Ronald!" She bellowed. The girls waited silently for a moment then laughed as they heard Ron exclaim, followed by a loud thud which implied he'd fallen out of bed.

They were still laughing when there was a knock on the door and an amused Harry entered. "Clearly I haven't got the Weasley knack yet" he said, dropping a swift kiss on Ginny's forehead and hugging Hermione and Joanna. "Merry Christmas girls."

The group were chatting, sitting on the floor in the middle of the room, when Ron plodded in still looking half asleep. "Morning" he yawned, collapsing on the floor next to Hermione and resting his head on her shoulder.

"Ron get off me, I'm not your bed!" She scolded, pushing him away from her. Ron pulled a face and pushed himself up.

"Alright, sorry! Has mum done any breakfast yet?"

Hermione rolled her eyes and was about to reply when Mrs Weasley bustled in.

"There you all are! I was beginning to think you'd all slept in. Breakfast is ready and on the table, everyone else is downstairs waiting for you all."

During the day gifts are exchanged and the usual songs sung. However, what has everyone at Grimmauld Place most excited is the party Mrs Weasley announced upon their arrival.

"Why are we having a party though?" Ron had asked his beaming mother.

Mrs Weasley's smile dropped "To welcome Joanna to the family of course!"

Joanna blushed "you don't have to do that for me Mrs Weasley, you've already done enough."

"Nonsense!" The matriarch declared, "Everything has already been planned and everyone is here."

They were now getting ready for the party upstairs, Ginny and Hermione having had pre-knowledge of the party had bought Joanna a new dress for the party as a Christmas present. It was a bright coral knee length dress with a neckline that made Joanna a bit flustered when she tried it on "it's a bit low, don't you think?" She asked, twisting and turning while looking in the mirror anxiously.

Ginny smiled at her and clapped her hands together in excitement "of course not!" She exclaimed, "It's perfect!"

Ginny and Hermione had already got ready. They wore emerald and lilac dresses respectively and were sitting on one of the beds waiting for Joanna's final verdict.

"It's gorgeous, thank you" Joanna finally stilled and smiled at their reflections, "and you're sure the neckline isn't too low?"

"Trust me, it's fine," Hermione reassured her, "do you think I'd have let Ginny buy it if I thought it were immodest?"

Ginny let out an indignant shriek but laughed, knowing Hermione was only teasing.

"Good point" Joanna smiled "and you two look great as well."

They grinned and mock curtseyed for her. There was a knock at the door.

"Girls, Mrs Weasley sent me up to find you. She's anxious to start the party but wanted to wait for it star guest." Lupin's amused voice came from the other side of the door.

Joanna instantly smoothed down her dress and peered anxiously in the mirror again, fiddling with her hair. Ginny rolled her eyes at her and grabbed hold of one of her wrists, Hermione taking the other. Before she could object, the door had been flung open and she had been pushed into Remus, who instinctively wrapped his arms around her waist to steady her.

It was hard to say who was more embarrassed; Joanna dipped her head and begun thinking of ways to get back at Hermione and Ginny, while Remus was trying to claw back the logical part of his brain that had deserted him when he saw Joanna.

By the time Remus stepped back and let go of Joanna's waist, they were alone. Joanna looked bashfully up at him while he stared at her wondrously.

"You look beautiful" he finally whispered, a look of awe having settled over his features.

Joanna smiled gently, "you look very handsome," she responded, "I like your tie."

Remus grinned at her; Joanna had bought Remus the tie as a present several weeks ago.

"Thank you, somebody very special bought it for me." Joanna blushed again and was about to reply when Mrs Weasley appeared at the bottom of the stairs looking harassed.

"There you are! Honestly Remus, you two can talk about books and whatnot later, come down to the party."

It was as if Mrs Weasley's arrival reminded Remus of where he was. He shook his head and stepped back from Joanna, "of course, sorry Molly," he said, placating her. He descended the stairs without a second look at Joanna, who was left standing at the top of the stairs feeling awkward and suddenly unsure of herself.

"Joanna dear, you look lovely" Mrs Weasley complimented, gesturing that she too should come downstairs. Joanna did as she was told and thanked Mrs Weasley at the bottom, before being hurried along the dark hallway and into the largest drawing room Grimmauld Place had to offer.

Everyone cheered her arrival, and Joanna could see that several of the men had already begun drinking. Harry, clearly having seen the look on Remus' face and realising something was bothering him, handed Remus a drink just as Joanna entered. He took one look at her and drunk deeply from the bottle, surprising Harry.

"Slow down Remus, it's only just started" he chastised his teacher.

"It doesn't matter Harry," Remus murmured with melancholy, "just have fun while you're still allowed to."

Harry frowned at him and Remus waved a hand.

"Don't worry about me, just a bitter old man's ramblings. Go, go have fun. Ginny's waiting for you"

As if on cue, Ginny called out Harry's name and waved him over.

"Are you sure you're okay?"

"I'll be fine" Remus assured him. Satisfied, Harry crossed the room to his girlfriend, "with a couple bottles of fire whisky inside of me that is," Remus finished once Harry was out of hearing distance.

A few hours later and Remus had disappeared, and so had several bottles of fire whisky. Hermione found Joanna hiding in a corner. "Hi, why are you hiding over here?" She asked, "Not enjoying your party?"

"I never realised how, well, _chaotic_ they could be."

Hermione took in the scene through Joanna's eyes; Arthur and the twins were singing _God Rest Ye Merry Hippogriff's _with Percy scowling at them disapprovingly. Bill and Charlie were engaged in an arm wrestling competition while Ron was loudly – and possibly drunkenly – complaining about not being involved. And Ginny had snuck off with Harry about an hour ago giggling far too loudly for a discrete exit. Mrs Weasley, who Joanna had expected to be ringmaster in controlling her family, was hiccupping and giggling away with Tonks, who kept changing her hair colour for Mrs Weasley's amusement.

"You get used to it, and it's not as if they're causing any actual trouble," Hermione reasoned, "trust me, my first Weasley party I thought I'd gone to the wrong place and was being tricked. Now, I just let them all get on with it." She paused, "Except Ron," she said, "I'll go and sort him out in a minute before Charlie and Bill let him arm wrestle them and he ends up needing more than a pepper up potion in the morning."

Joanna smiled and waved Hermione off. She was considering sneaking off and going to bed when she heard the smashing of glass coming from the kitchen. Concerned, she ducked out of the drawing room and headed to the kitchen.

The scene that confronted her when she pushed open the kitchen door far surpassed the chaos of the goings on in the drawing room. Remus, apparently drunk, was varying between drinking and smashing the empty glasses. He was not, however, so drunk that he was unaware of her entrance.

"Hello Joanna" he slurred, rising to greet her, "lovely, beautiful Joanna. So perfect, so untouchable." He threw a glass against the opposite wall, making her jump. He noticed. "Do I scare you Joanna?" He goaded "Does seeing my darker side make you afraid?"

Joanna silently cleared up the mess he'd made and entered the kitchen properly, shutting the door behind her.

"Why are you doing this Remus?" She asked, hoping he wasn't so far gone that he wouldn't see to reason. "What's happened?"

Remus threw back his head and let out a bark of laughter. "What's happened?" He threw her question back to her, "You swan around in your perfect dress, with your shiny hair and intoxicating smile and expect me to be immune? But I can't have you, can I? Because I'm not perfect, because I'm just a silly old teacher who might possibly be in love with you. Oh," he smiled now, looking almost crazed, and began to walk towards Joanna, his voice dangerously low, "oh but you see I've ruined it now. You see I've scared you away. You'll go back to Hogwarts next week and you'll think thank goodness I'm away from that sad old man, how sad I was to have a crush on him. Because that's all I am, aren't I Joanna? Just a silly crush to you. But I'm damaged goods, and my damaged heart has fallen hook line and sinker for every beautiful, wonderful part of you. But I can't have you, can I?" He had reached her now, looking crestfallen. Like he was broken. She didn't know what to say to make him feel better.

So she kissed him.

When they finally broke apart, she gazed up at him to gauge his response. He looked stunned.

"Never assume it's just a crush" she told him sternly.

Remus stared at her, "really?" he asked, allowing himself to feel a small glimmer of hope.

She nodded, "really."

Remus walked forward, pushing into Joanna, until they were against the kitchen door. He took her hand in his and allowed her time to change her mind. When she simply smiled at him he leant forward and kissed her hard.

He tasted of fire whisky and chocolate – always of chocolate – but Joanna didn't mind. She allowed him to wind an arm around her back and pull her even closer to him as she wrapped her arms around his neck. It was almost as if they were competing to see who could get the other even closer to them, to see if they could become one.

She didn't know how long they'd been there but they were startled apart by banging on the kitchen door. Looking a little flustered and feeling a little caught out, they stepped back and let the door open. Ginny's beaming face greeted them.

"Ah, so that's where you two got to! I did wonder…anyway, I hate to spoil whatever moment you two were having but Remus, mum's looking for you." She turned away and headed back down the hallway, looking back just before she entered the drawing room, she mouthed sorry to Joanna before heading in.

"Joanna, erm, I'm sorry. I got carried away."

She could feel him closing himself off to her again and wanted to cling to him desperately. She shut the door quickly and spoke in hurried, fierce tones. "Don't you dare apologise Remus Lupin. What I said was true, as true as it has always been. Don't leave me again; I missed you so much before tonight. Please, just accept my feelings for you."

Remus, however, didn't have time to answer as the door was pushed open again and Mrs Weasley appeared, seeming quite unconcerned that they were alone together. "Ah Remus, there you are. Come with me, I want a word with you about something." She said, grasping his arm and dragging him off. Joanna sighed and smiled forlornly at Remus as he glanced back at Joanna.

She stayed in the kitchen, not particularly wanting to go back into the party, and replayed what had just happened over in her head. She was just wondering why Remus refused to believe her feelings were real when he stormed out of the room and headed up the hallway to the kitchen.

"Remus come back!" Molly called out after him. Joanna could hear Mr Weasley telling his wife to let Remus go.

"What happened?" Joanna asked when Remus reached her.

"She was trying to put me together with Tonks" Remus bit out, evidently annoyed at Mrs Weasley's interfering. "I'm sorry Joanna but I have to go and calm down away from here before I do something silly. I'll write to you tomorrow, I promise." He kissed her cheek before grabbing some floo powder and disappearing in the kitchen's fire.


	17. Chapter 17

Joanna had fully intended to reply to Remus' request to talk the next morning. However, events decided to keep them apart a little longer. For just as Joanna was picking up her quill to write back there was the sound of a door slamming downstairs and screams for help. Instantly Joanna was running out of her room and down the stairs. The scene that greeted her made her freeze halfway down and want to join in the screaming. Collapsed in front of the door, at the foot of the stairs, was her mother, bleeding profusely from her nose and somewhere Joanna couldn't quite work out. Crouched over her mother was Hermione, who had been closest to the front door at the time.

"Mrs Weasley, come quickly!" She called out, surveying Joanna's mother in the meantime and muttering spells under her breath to heal what she could. Mrs Weasley came bustling along the hallway looking expectant at Hermione's tone. It was unsure what exactly she was expecting, but it certainly wasn't a heavily bleeding woman because as soon as she saw Joanna's mother she swiftly joined Hermione on the floor and examined her.

It was at this moment that several things happened at once. From the library came the whoosh of somebody flooing in, Ron and Ginny began shouting at each other in the kitchen and Joanna's mother finally looked up. When she saw Joanna a look of relief crossed her face.

"He knows" she managed to splutter out, drops of blood accompanying her words. Hermione and Mrs Weasley followed her gaze and saw Joanna.

"Who knows what?" A male voice asked from behind them. Remus stood just away from the scene. "Mrs Black?" He asked, spotting her on the floor. He glanced up at Joanna on the stairs, "do you know what your mother means?" He asked, genuinely baffled.

Joanna nodded, "it means my father's found out about us. I imagine Voldermort will have been alerted by now, if my father is as good a follower as he preaches." She turned her attention to her mother and finally descended the rest of the stairs, trying to remain calm for her mother's sake, "did he do this to you?" She asked, crouching down and taking her mother's hand in hers.

The slightest of nods answered her question.

Joanna stood and met Remus' gaze "I have to find him" she announced fiercely. Out of the three of them, her mother had always been the most fragile and her father knew that.

"Hey what's going on? Mum why are we all out here? Who's that?"

Ron and Ginny, doubtlessly attracted by the increasing noise from the hallway, had drifted out of their argument and the kitchen.

Mrs Weasley stood up, levitating Mrs Black in front of her. "Kitchen, now. Ron go and call the others; we need to have an emergency meeting."

Twenty minutes later everyone had gathered in the kitchen, all gazing curiously at Mrs Black who was sitting next to Joanna. Mrs Weasley had healed her while Ron made the floo calls and a pain tonic was taking hold quite nicely, allowing Mrs Black to join them as needed. When everyone was quiet enough to hear her, Mrs Black stood and spoke.

"Joanna and I have been members of the Order for some time now, without my husband's permission or knowledge. Last night he caught me arranging a meeting with Dumbledore. He had previously banned any contact with Hogwarts as part of him insisting we disowned Joanna. He managed to administer veritaserum and asked enough to implicate Joanna of treason against Voldermort. At that point he did this," she indicated her visible injuries, "and left. I believe he thought me unconscious and thus not a threat to leave alone. I managed to apparate here, which is how I was found."

There was a moment of stunned silence before everyone began talking at once. It took sparks from Mr Weasley's wand to bring back the quiet. "Thank you," he said pocketing his wand, "what we must decide now, is how to progress from here." He turned to Dumbledore, "would Joanna be safe returning to Hogwarts? We know Draco is watching her, and her father had no problem getting in to the school last time."

Dumbledore considered Mr Weasley's words, sucking on the sherbet lemon he had started at the beginning of the meeting, "I think," he started, "that it would be wise to ask Joanna if she feels she would be safe. Too long we have allowed the youth here to be spoken for; quite forgetting they have opinions and preferences of their own." Everyone turned to look at Joanna, "Joanna, what do you think?"

Joanna paused and considered her options, trying desperately to ignore the stares of everyone else. She couldn't decide what was best; brave it out at Hogwarts and potentially be in danger, or hide out and miss the normal school experience she had been beginning to gain. She looked to her mother.

"What should I do mum?" She asked.

Mrs Black blinked in surprise. Her daughter had always addressed her formally – something enforced by her father – and had certainly never called her _mum_, let alone ask for her opinion on something, important or otherwise.

"Well," she said after a short time in which she collected herself, "I believe the Malfoy boy will be told to go to any lengths to deliver you to the Death Eaters." She sighed as Joanna's face fell, "I know it's frustrating but it will not be safe for you. Please," she beseeched her daughter, "for me, stay safe, stay hidden."

There was no denying Hogwarts would be dangerous for her to go back to under current circumstances.

"But what about my exams, what am I meant to do about school work?"

Ron snorted and mumbled something about priorities, grunting when Hermione elbowed him in the side.

Dumbledore placed the tips of his fingers together and surveyed Joanna over the top of them, his moon shaped glasses glinting when they hit the sunlight as he leant forward.

"We would need a volunteer, but if we could arrange for it then you could continue your tuition here."

For the first time in the meeting Remus spoke up "I'll do it" he said, pushing back his chair to stand. "I know the syllabus backwards; nobody would find it suspicious me talking to other staff should they have specific requirements and, due to my condition, frequent visits to the potions supply room at school is expected. Should anyone be asked, Joanna has fled the country with her mother."

Dumbledore nodded, a small smile alighting his lips as if he knew a secret or a funny joke had just come to mind. "Joanna, will that be agreeable?"

Joanna nodded, not taking her eyes off Remus. He met her gaze just as steadily and smiled unsurely at her. She returned his smile and his became more confident.

"Meeting adjourned. Remus, Joanna, perhaps you two could have a discussion about arrangements. We'll leave you alone." Dumbledore ushered everyone else out of the kitchen, his eyes twinkling with mirth at the confused looks Joanna and Remus had at his words.

Once the kitchen was cleared of the rest of the Order, Remus turned to Joanna and smiled wryly. "Well you wanted more time alone with me" he joked.

Joanna laughed humourlessly and concern became evident in Remus' eyes. He came round the table and pulled her to him. Joanna allowed herself to be wrapped in his arms and merely snuggled into his chest, sniffling as the hairs of his jumper tickled her nose. Remus mistook her sniffling for crying and began to stroke her hair. "It will be okay. Dumbledore will have the Order looking for your father and your mother is safe. It could have been a lot worse."

She pulled back, laughing at Remus' surprise at her lack of tears, "I was sniffling because of your jumper" she explained, "I know it could have been worse. I just hate how he went after her, she's always been more delicate than him or I and he knew that."

"Joanna, it's okay to be weak and let people in sometimes" Remus chided, certain that there had to be some emotional reaction to seeing her mother in such a horrific way. He had expected tears, or ranting, perhaps even hysterics, but certainly not the stoicism of the girl stood in front of him.

"I'm not weak" she blasted back, her eyes flashing angrily.

"Being weak and showing weakness are different things" he replied, "to show a weakness of some form is human, it's what makes us unique. For instance, Harry's weakness is saving people, Hermione's is her knowledge." He paused for a moment before continuing, "Mine is chocolate" he confided, chuckling as a small smile appeared on Joanna's face. "What I meant to say was, it's okay to show some more emotion than anger in response to things."

A disheartened gaze was his reply, "I don't know how to react to things other than angrily. I wasn't allowed to cry at home, father said it was weak and disgusting. That only babies cried and anybody else was a weak vermin who deserved to be crushed."

"Is that why you've never let me see you cry?" He asked, previous occasions where she lashed out at him suddenly making sense.

Joanna nodded. "I couldn't let you see me weak" she told him.

Remus sighed and rubbed her arms distractedly, "you know Joanna," he said, "being in love is a weakness in a way. You allow someone else into your life, they have access to your thoughts, your life, your heart and you have no control over what they do with it." He made sure she was listening before he carried on "I was joking when I said my weakness was chocolate," he admitted, "my real weakness is you."


	18. Chapter 18

"Remus, please take a break. I know you must be tired from your transformation. Let me make you a drink, or get you some food. I think we have some Honeydukes chocolate left from Hermione's last package…" Joanna trailed off as she pushed her chair back and headed to the kitchen cupboards, only to be blocked by a weary Remus.

"I'm fine Joanna; we need to go over this potion if Snape is to get your essay on time."

She ignored him and simply swerved around him, reaching into the cupboard and pulling out the chocolate bar. She tore open the wrapping and broke off a chunk, handing it to Remus and glaring at him until he ate some. He rolled his eyes but took a bite, allowing her to push him into a chair while she made them some tea. As the kettle boiled, the pair chatted about the recent update from Dumbledore. Draco had been more withdrawn than usual and there were worries that he was spying for Voldermort. Hermione had managed to distract him one day in the library with an argument over a book he had, allowing Harry to grab and duplicate a letter Draco had been writing. It was to Joanna's father, citing the given reason for Joanna's absence was that she had left the country with her mother.

"I only hope father believes it, I know it is frustrating mother to be stuck in the house all the time. I imagine it was the same for my uncle when he escaped Azkaban"

Remus paled "I don't really like to think about it too much," he admitted "but being cooped up in here, simply in a new prison, did affect him and his rationalities. Then again, he was always rash." He managed to smirk as some memories from his own school time came up in his mind. Joanna watched him as she stirred their tea, smiling fondly at him as he lost himself in his thoughts.

"Was that the kettle I heard? May I have a cup of tea as well?" Both Remus and Joanna jumped at the new voice. Joanna's mother was standing in the doorway, a curious smile on her face. Joanna immediately set about making her mother a cup of tea, adding a small amount of sugar as she preferred. As she busied herself, her mother spoke again. "Also Joanna, may I have a word with you in the library?"

Joanna glanced at her mother, curiosity littering her features. Remus said nothing but raised an eyebrow at her. Joanna shrugged and handed her mother the cup of tea, before picking hers up and taking it through to the library. "What's wrong mum?" She asked when her mother had followed her and shut the door.

"How are you finding it here, with only me and Remus for your companions?"

"It's fine, I'm happy to spend time with you and I find conversations with Remus stimulating, and of course I am grateful to him for taking his time to teach me when he needn't."

"Is that all?" Her mother asked as a knowing smile formed, forcing her to take a sip of tea to hide it.

"What else would there be?"

Her mother laughed, the tinkle echoing around the vast room, "Joanna I may be your mother and I may like to pretend you're still a little girl at times but even I cannot deny the way you and Remus look at each other. I'm certain _I_ never looked at my professors like that when I was at school."

Joanna blushed, "I will admit there are feelings" she admitted cautiously.

"Oh darling, I'm aware there are feelings. I'm certain everyone would be aware there are feelings if they spent as much time around you two as I do. I'm glad you two have found each other; he's very sweet to you. I'm also very proud of how you care for him after each transformation."

Her mother stirred her tea while Joanna took all of this in before continuing.

"Of course there would normally be concerns about the age difference, however you have always been more mature than other children your age and you seem to fit each other very well. He is certainly a vast improvement and better match for you than any of the Death Eater children your father would have paired you with."

Joanna glanced at her mother, unsure what to take from her mother's words. Her mother smiled gently at her and nodded towards the door.

"I wanted you to know that I know, and I am happy for you. Although perhaps it is best to bide your time waiting to tell Ron and Harry. From what I've heard Ron reacts rashly to the best of news, and Remus is a father figure to Harry, you will need to tread carefully..."

Remus looked up as the kitchen door swung open to reveal a bemused and amazed Joanna.

"What happened?" He asked, immediately at her side. Joanna sighed contentedly and allowed herself to sink into Remus as he wrapped his arms around her.

"Mum knows," she said, pausing as she felt Remus stiffen, "she picked up on the little things we do around each other apparently. She says we fit well, and she's happy that I found you."

He sighed in relief and tightened his arms around her. "I'm glad," he said, pulling her into the kitchen properly and shutting the door behind them, kissing her neck as he did so, "now," he murmured into her ear, sending goose bumps running up along her arms, "we have some revising to do."


	19. Chapter 19

"And remember; we should all remain on our guard despite the lack of recent attacks from Voldermort." Dumbledore said, wrapping up the numerous pieces of parchment surrounding him. As various members began to gather in groups or leave Dumbledore drew Joanna and Remus to him "I need to speak with you both in private" he said, leading them out into the hallway. Once there he turned to Remus "I'm afraid I must ask you to leave the house and go on a new mission Remus" he said.

Remus nodded his acceptance although Joanna was certain she saw him tense. "What will it entail?" He asked.

Dumbledore glanced at Joanna warily before answering "we need someone to infiltrate Greyback's newest pack. He's never there so you won't be recognised but we think Voldermort is training them up to launch an attack soon."

"No!" Joanna cried out, unable to stop herself. Remus and Dumbledore both turned to her, surprised at her outburst. "I mean," she said, faltering under their gaze, "They'll all be horrifically savage and what if Remus gets caught out? They won't exactly be restrained!"

Remus paled and looked hurt. "I'll be ready in the morning" he said to Dumbledore, before walking off and shrugging Joanna's hand away.

She turned to her headmaster, confused, "why is he upset?" She asked "surely they're concerns of his as well?"

Dumbledore sighed and placed a consolatory hand on her shoulder "consider your words" he advised "you reacted to Remus going into the pack by branding what is essentially his own kind as savage and unrestrained. Although you did not intend them to include him, your words will have resonated with his deep seeded fear of rejection over his condition."

He stepped back into the kitchen, allowing Joanna to decide what to do while it was still quiet in the rest of the house. Sighing deeply she headed to the library first to see if Remus had sought solace in there. She poked her head around the door and took in the empty library as the floor creaked above her. Remus' bedroom was directly above the library, although she had never been in there, and it sounded like he was there now. She hurried up the stairs before anybody else could leave the meeting and ask her what she was doing.

She knocked on the door and waited for a response. The footsteps she had heard when she was downstairs had stopped abruptly on her first knock. The room was silent although Joanna was sure that if she strained her ears hard enough she could hear Remus breathing as quietly as he could. She sighed again and pushed open the door.

Sure enough Remus was standing facing the door, looking defeated. "Leave me alone" he said dejectedly, turning his back on her. Joanna shut the door and waited for him to turn back around. When he saw her still in his room he made to turn away again but she reached out and pulled him so he was standing in front of her.

"What do you want Joanna?" He said tiredly, refusing to meet her eye, "you made it perfectly clear what you think about me."

Joanna took Remus' other hand in hers and waited until he finally lifted his gaze up from the floor "no Remus," she said softly, "I made it perfectly clear what I thought about the werewolves under Voldermort. You are not one of them and you are the kindest, most generous, gentlemanly, smartest and quite frankly handsome man I have ever met."

Remus frowned at her words, "really?" he asked her.

"Really" she said, smiling at him.

He removed one of his hands from hers and wound his arm around her waist, gently pulling her towards him. He lowered his lips to hers almost hesitantly, as if giving her a chance to change her mind. Joanna raised her hand to his shoulder and firmly pulled him to her. When they broke apart she smiled at him again "I love you" she said.

At her words he kissed her again, this time more passionately. Joanna sensed he was looking for some kind of comfort after allowing himself to think she had rejected him. He needed reassurance of her feelings. As the kiss deepened and Remus' hands began to wonder Joanna could feel stirrings of lust in the pit of her stomach. She pulled away slightly "Remus" she said thickly as he began to nuzzle her neck "Remus, wait."

Immediately he pulled away; fear, doubt and lust mingled on his features as he waited for Joanna to explain why she'd stopped him.

"Why now?" She whispered "you've never got carried away like this before."

Remus sighed and led Joanna to the bed. He sat down next to her and ran a hand through his hair. "You've never said you loved me before. Nobody has ever said that to me before." She went to correct him but he shook his head "sure you may have heard Harry say it but I mean in this context. Harry loves me like an uncle, but nobody has ever loved me the way you do."

"What about Tonks?" Joanna asked, frowning as she remembered the talk she'd overheard in Hogsmeade.

He snorted "Tonks was infatuated, maybe, but I think she saw me as someone who needed rescuing. She wanted to take care of me, and perhaps she was attracted to me in some way, but she didn't love me in the slightest. But you," he continued, taking her hand and kissing the tips of her fingers, "you continually pursued me and fiercely defended your feelings when I doubted or belittled them. You take care of me around my transformations without making me feel pathetic or that it's any different to a normal day's routine. I know that you asked Hermione to include my favourite chocolate in the packages she sends over and I know it's you who is slowly replacing my books with newer, less destroyed ones."

Joanna blinked "I was going to tell you about that" she said guiltily, "I was hoping you wouldn't notice until I'd finished and then I was going to surprise you."

"Not notice my torn, yellowing books were suddenly white and perfect?" He guffawed "my dear you would have been better off keeping hold of the books and replacing them at once."

She flushed and ducked her head "I didn't think" she muttered "I never do when it comes to you."

Remus cupped her chin and raised her head so she was looking at him. His eyes were darkened and she felt the starts of lust stirring up again. "Remus" she whispered, forcing herself to ask what was on her mind, "Are you simply doing this because you don't think you'll survive your mission?"

"No," he said, "I'm doing it because I don't want to leave without showing you how I feel about you."

As they kissed, Joanna ended up lying across the bed with Remus above her; his kisses getting lower and lower as he trailed them across her skin. He paused when he reached her dress' neckline and pulled back to look at her. Her hair had frizzed slightly at being pushed onto the bed, her eyes were shining with anticipation and her lips were slightly parted as she breathed deeply.

"Are you certain Joanna?" Remus asked, hoping that she would answer positively. He had, of course, experienced times of lusting after first girls at school and then women as he grew older but none had overwhelmed him quite so much as Joanna did.

Joanna smiled lazily up at him "I love you" was all she said as she tugged on his shirt to get him to come back to her. He groaned in pleasure as she began to run her fingers up and down his back, pressing down as she did so. Gradually her hands came around to his front and rested on his chest, allowing him to get used to her touch there. Previously he had always moved her hands if they'd gone anywhere near his torso. When he did not object Joanna slowly began undoing his shirt buttons. His shirt open Remus tensed and was about to move away when Joanna began running her fingers along his chest. She took the opportunity of Remus being distracted to kiss his chest. He watched as she pushed herself up and removed his shirt, kissing the skin that was revealed as she did so. She looked at him and saw him watching in an unsure amazement "I love you" she said "and that means all of you."

He kissed her and tangled his hands in her hair as she fumbled with his belt. He regretfully dragged himself away from her to stand up and remove his trousers before holding out his hand to her, leading her to stand in front of him when she took it.

He kissed her gently before spinning her so her back was to him and unzipping her dress, his lips following its journey downwards.

Then he drew back in shock.

Across the tops of her legs was a patchwork of scars; some angry red but most a dulled silver. She bit her lip and waited for him to say something. He took a step closer to her and knelt down where he ran his fingers along the lines before kissing each one and standing again. She was watching him fearfully. "I love you" was all he said before pulling her back to the bed.

"Don't you want to know?"

He shook his head "unless you want to tell me now I can wait."

"I promise I'll tell you."

He nodded in acceptance and twisted them so she was now above him. Keeping eye contact with her, he removed her underwear before moving them again so he was on top. Now they were completely naked. Remus leant back slightly "are you sure?" he asked, knowing it would take him all of his self control to get off of her and get dressed if she said no but also knowing he wouldn't be able to live with himself if she had any doubts and he hadn't asked.

She nodded "I'm sure." She said, pulling him back to her.

Afterwards he wrapped them in his blanket and watched Joanna as she sleepily trailed her fingers across his skin. She felt his eyes on her and looked up, smiling at him almost shyly. He smiled back and kissed the top of her head. They were silent for a while before she spoke.

"My father's minions made them." She said abruptly, startling Remus who had been beginning to feel sleepy from Joanna's fingers on his skin.

He said nothing and waited for her to continue, knowing she wanted to talk without any interruption on his part.

"They would sneak into my bedroom at night, usually just before or after I'd got changed for bed, and offer themselves to me. They said nobody would want to marry someone who didn't know what she was doing in the bedroom. They said they'd be happy to assist." She snorted derisively and Remus tightened his grip around her. She snuggled into him, seeking comfort from his warmth and closeness, before continuing. "If I said no they'd bind me and cut my legs. They couldn't force me to sleep with them after my mother suggested an unbreakable vow be made to preserve me for my intended husband, unless I wished otherwise. So they would watch me undress in the two way mirror until I started getting changed under my bed covers. Then they would break in and cut me for upsetting them. I couldn't win and I couldn't prove anything."

Remus pulled her against his chest and stroked her hair as she cried. When she had calmed down enough she pulled back, looking embarrassed.

"What's wrong?" He asked, confused about why she was looking at him warily.

She was trying to slowly slip away from him but stopped at his question.

"I'm damaged, broken, why would you still want me?"

He drew her against him again and rubbed circles on the small of her back "I love you" he said "and those men did not make you damaged or broken. Yes they did horrific things for which I wish to hunt them down but I view you no different to how I did before. You are beautiful, generous, and compassionate and I feel like the most gifted man alive because you love me."

She shook her head fiercely "how do you know I'm not broken? How do you know that I won't try and hex you one time when you try and touch me? How do you know that I won't scream if you try and kiss me?"

"I don't" he said after considering her words, "but I don't believe you will. However, if you feel you are broken then I will try and fix you until you forget about the cracks you think you have. Because I love you."

Much later when Remus had fallen asleep in the middle of rubbing his hand along her back Joanna buried her head in his chest and smiled to herself as his arm wound itself around her waist. "I love you too" she whispered.


	20. Chapter 20

The next morning Joanna woke up to see Remus staring down at her adoringly. When he saw that he'd been caught he simply smiled unabashedly at her and kissed her forehead "good morning beautiful" he said. He looked so adorable with his hair messed up and slightly sleepy eyes that Joanna couldn't help but giggle as she kissed his cheek in response. "What's so funny?" He asked, his eyes glinting in good humour.

"Nothing" she said beaming up at him.

He was about to respond when there was a knock at the door half a second before it swung open and Ron walked in. "Hey Remus, mum said…" He trailed off as he caught sight of the top of Joanna's head poking out from under the blanket she had hidden her body. "Joanna?"

"Morning Ron" she replied weakly, poking her head out.

Immediately Ron spun around and slapped a hand over his eyes "sorry! Remus, Mum said Dumbledore needed you to leave straight away." He staggered forward, his hand still blinding him, straight into the door frame. He groped around and pulled himself out of the room by the door, which shut behind him with a click that seemed to reverberate around the now silent room. Joanna pushed herself up the bed so that she was sitting up against the headboard and pulled the blanket so it covered her body. Remus silently copied her and stared ahead as they both took in Ron's words and what they meant.

"I thought we'd have longer" she finally said, her voice heavy with disappointment.

Remus kissed the top of her head and absentmindedly rubbed her shoulder "I thought we'd have longer too," he admitted, "Something must have happened in the night." He frowned "why is Ron here?" He asked Joanna suddenly "it's the middle of term; he should be at Hogwarts."

Joanna knitted her eyebrows together as she realised Remus was right "I'm not sure" she said, discontentment settling in her stomach, "let's get dressed and I'll help you pack. Then we can find out what's going on before you…"

"Before I go" Remus finished for her, sounding as enthusiastic about leaving as she felt.

She nodded and pulled a small leather bag out from underneath Remus' bed upon his directions. It took minutes to pack the small amount of items Remus would need to take with him. The couple heavily descended the stairs to be greeted by most of the Order in the kitchen. Dumbledore was sat at the head of the kitchen table but rose when Remus entered. He bowed and made his way across the crowded kitchen to greet them properly.

"Remus I apologise for the abrupt change in timings of your mission but another werewolf colony has been formed. Voldermort is preparing for an attack, sources say on Order homes or Hogwarts itself, and I need you to convince as many as possible to fight for us."

He turned to Joanna.

"I apologise for depriving you of Remus when your time together is so dear to you" he said, before bowing once more and returning to his seat.

Remus sighed and pulled at his hair. He tightened his grip on his bag and was about to speak when McGonagall's patronus appeared in the middle of the kitchen table.

"The wards have broken. He is coming."

Her voice rang out loudly in the kitchen which had fallen silent with the patronus' arrival. Everyone turned to Dumbledore who calmly stood up and addressed Remus; "I do believe, Remus, that your mission is no longer needed. We must gather our troops and head to the school. Voldermort is coming."


	21. Chapter 21

"Dammit Remus, I have just as much a right to be involved as anyone else. You cannot keep me locked up here like a child!"

Remus growled at the obstinate woman before him. Nearly all of the Order was already at, or on their way to, Hogwarts. Remus and Mrs Weasley had stayed behind momentarily to reason with Joanna and make her stay behind.

"You are too important" he insisted, placing his hands on her shoulder. She merely glared at him and turned to Mrs Weasley who shook her head sadly. "You will be a direct target."

She snorted and jabbed him in the chest "you were my age when you fought in the war; nobody stopped you or any of the others. Besides, it's not like Harry, Ron, Hermione or Ginny have been made to stay back. "

At that moment there was a commotion in the hallway and Ginny burst into the room, heading straight for her mother. "Why do I have to stay behind? I can fight just as well as they can, I'm just as good, I fought Death Eaters _years_ ago!"

Mrs Weasley sighed and addressed both of the girls stood in front of her with their hands on their hips "both of you are far too precious to fight. Ginny you shouldn't have fought Death Eaters in the first place, let alone now, and Joanna, Remus is right; you will be targeted."

Ginny let out a screech of frustration and slumped into a chair. Joanna bit her tongue to stop her from doing the same and attempted to reason with Mrs Weasley "Mrs Weasley," she said beseechingly, "Harry, Hermione and Ron are out there fighting. They are younger than me and have less insight to the minds of Death Eaters and how they fight. Surely for your logic to apply to me as well, they should be back here? Harry is the biggest target out there, regardless of whether or not I fought. This is a war and we need everyone who can and will fight to be out there doing so."

"No" Remus replied "you're not going and that's final. Everyone else already agreed. Both you and Ginny are to remain here. A patronus will be sent when it is safe."

Once he had finished speaking he led Molly from the room by her arm. The door shut and the girls could hear him locking it as firmly as he could with numerous spells; spells that would take them ages to break.

Joanna sighed and turned to a defeated looking Ginny. "So," she said "how are we getting out of here?"

Ginny shrugged despondently "as if we'd be able to. You heard all the protections Remus put up on the door. We've no chance of breaking all of them."

Joanna paced around the room and leant on the fireplace, trying to think of a way out. Then she realised something; Remus hadn't put any wards on the fireplace!

"Ginny, what rooms at Hogwarts have fireplaces and which one will be most likely to be open to floo right now?"

The younger girl stared at her in confusion until gradual realisation moved over her features "McGonagall" she said after thinking about Joanna's question "it's where the Order were sending new recruits for the battle."

Joanna jumped over the coffee table and pulled Ginny up and around to the fireplace. She grasped around the cubby hole she knew the Floo powder to be kept in and triumphantly seized some, throwing it straight into the fire and pulling Ginny into the green flames with her "Professor McGonagall's office at Hogwarts" she yelled, feeling a tug in her stomach.

As Joanna had expected, McGonagall's office was empty and the sounds of battle were echoing around the ancient castle. She pulled Ginny into a quick hug "stay safe" she urged before leading them out of the office and into the battle ground.

They had just reached the staircase when they heard footsteps. Remus appeared from around the corner, clearly looking for someone. He froze when he saw Joanna crouched down in front of Ginny, shielding her, and her wand stretched out in front of her.

"Joanna?" He said, confusion and then anger flickering across his face, "I told you to stay behind."

She pushed herself up but kept her wand gripped tightly in her hand; ready to use it if need be. "And I told you I wouldn't" she retorted, helping Ginny up without turning around or breaking eye contact with Remus. Remus saw the familiar flash of red hair and groaned.

"Molly's going to kill me" he said as Ginny stepped out to the side and into full view.

Ginny flashed him a quick grin "not if you don't tell her" she said before squeezing Joanna's hand and running off to find the others.

Remus suddenly pulled himself out of his thoughts and grabbed Joanna, pulling her into an alcove, "your father's been seen inside the castle" he told her "he's looking for you."

"Good" Joanna murmured angrily "I'm not scared of him anymore."

He gripped her shoulders and gave her a little shake. When he spoke his voice was wavering "Joanna, don't go looking for your father" he said, begging her, "I understand you want to fight but please don't go looking for the most dangerous person to you."

Joanna nodded mutely and kissed him before slipping out of the alcove, bumping into somebody. She turned around, her wand already up and saw Ron. She smiled and began to lower her wand.

"Joanna" he said slowly, as if he was confused about why she was there.

She went to answer him when Remus pushed her aside and sent Ron flying backwards, crashing to the floor and making him fall unconscious. Joanna turned on Remus "what was that for?" She demanded angrily, hurrying over to Ron's still form. She wiped a small trickle of blood coming from his mouth.

Remus bent down beside her and cast a few diagnostic spells before nodding in satisfaction. "He was under the Imperious" he informed her "as a precaution all of the Order's wands have been trained not to attack other Order members when in the correct owner's hands. I had to use my werewolf strength to get him away from you and knock him out. It's one of the few ways of breaking the Imperious. Whoever cast it will simply think Ron was attacked and move on to someone else."

He turned his attention back to Ron and brought him round. Ron blearily blinked up at them "what's going on?" He asked, "How did I get here?" He stared at Joanna "and when did you get here?"

"You were under the Imperious. I had to knock you unconscious to break it without arousing suspicion. Joanna somehow managed to break herself and Ginny out of headquarters and get here. Ginny has, I am assuming, gone looking for Harry."

Ron paled under his freckles and scrambled to his feet, "mum'll go nuts if anything happens to her" he said, already starting to run down the stairs "I've got to go and find her!"

Slowly, and more wearily, Remus and Joanna also began to descend the stairs, each keeping an eye out for Death Eaters or fellow Order members who needed help.

Out of the corner of her eye she saw Hermione facing off with Bellatrix. Although Hermione was highly skilled at duelling, barely anyone was an even match for Bellatrix on their own. A plan quickly formulated in Joanna's mind and she ran off to her aunt, calling to her. Bellatrix paused, as did Hermione, confused to see her niece greeting her so freely.

"Well if it isn't daddy's little turncoat" she sneered, flicking her wand between Joanna and Hermione, her eyes following the movement. "Won't he be pleased to know I've found you?"

Joanna scoffed "he'll be more pleased if we've disposed of this mudblood together" she said smoothly, "daddy was always very keen on me to train under you but then our master gave me a mission that I've seen out until the end."

Bellatrix paused and studied Joanna. She felt the familiar probing of her mind being read and forced away anything that would give her away. Instead she focused on her conversations with Voldermort. Bellatrix grinned. "Indeed he would" she said, turning back to Hermione with a glint in her eye.

"On three" Joanna said, drawing her wand. "One," she winked at Hermione whose eyes widened in shock, "two, three!"

Joanna spun on her heel and shot a spell at her aunt, combining it with Hermione's spell. Bellatrix fell to the ground screeching as her feet and clothes burst into flames. "I'll get you for this" she screamed at Joanna's retreating form "you and your werewolf."


	22. Chapter 22

Remus, Hermione and Joanna had separated then. Joanna lost track of time – and of the bodies she ran past. She simply ran as fast as she could; dodging spells and firing them back when she could. She tried to keep an eye out for Remus, desperately hoping that he was safe, but didn't see him again.

Finally a cheer rang out. Joanna didn't recognise the voices at first and fear struck her. Surely they hadn't lost? Then she saw Ron grabbing Ginny in a bone crushing hug, his face beaming down at his little sister and Joanna sagged in relief. She sprinted over to them, a new adrenalin taking over and giving her continued strength when she should have been flagging, and laughed as they pulled her into their hug. Slowly other Order members joined their small group. There were some missing – those taken cruelly from them - such as Percy Weasley and a woman who worked for Kingsley at the ministry; nobody knew her name and a shudder of grief and guilt ran through them as they realised this failing on their part. Joanna looked around the group, realising that she still hadn't seen Remus. Surely he would have sought her out by now?

Ginny noticed Joanna scanning the group and nudged her, "what's wrong?" She whispered, trying not to draw attention to them.

Joanna sank onto her heels and gave up scanning the group "I can't find Remus" she said, her voice sounding hoarse as fear flexed its fingers around her. Ginny rose onto her tiptoes and scanned the crowd herself.

"Maybe he's helping look for wounded with Harry, mum and Hermione?" She suggested when she too failed to see Remus.

She was speaking to the air, however, for Joanna had run off to look for him. She came across Harry first "have you seen Remus?" She panted at him, resting her hands on her knees as she tried to catch her breath.

Harry shook his head and crouched in front of her "hasn't he joined the rest of you?" He asked, worry marring his face, "we saw him and he said he was going to look for you."

Hermione joined them and she gently tugged underneath Joanna's shoulders to pull her up "come on," she said, "I'll help you look. I think we've done all we can here." She directed the last part of her comment to Harry who fiercely shook his head.

"I won't give up" he said before turning and walking off, stopping to check bodies he came across for signs of life. Joanna and Hermione watched him sadly for a moment and were about to leave to look for Remus when Harry looked up from a body, his face frantic, and called out to them "I've found Remus."

He was kneeling at a body. Remus' body. Joanna wrenched her arm from Hermione's loose grip and ran to Remus' side, falling to her knees and brushing his hair back as she reached him. "Remus?" She whispered, hardly daring to move in case she missed any sign of him breathing. He seemed to be laying their quite still. Hermione placed a conciliatory hand on her shoulder and Harry leant back onto his heels, rubbing his nose until it was red and Hermione gently moved his hand away.

Joanna sniffed. Either side of her she was aware of Hermione and Harry standing, either to give her time alone or to simply move along to find any other survivors. This was not their first war, not their first great loss. Hermione gently squeezed Joanna's shoulder and suggested she come with them.

"No" Joanna said fiercely, her eyes refusing to leave Remus "I'm not going anywhere."

She heard Harry tell Hermione to leave her alone for a while and they moved off, leaving her with Remus. She ran her fingers along his face and down to his hand, cupping his fisted hand between her two cold ones. She sniffed again and blinked furiously as tears threatened.

Then she felt movement against her fingers.

"Remus?" She whispered, part doubting and part joyous.

The fingers flexed again.

"Harry! Hermione!" She screamed, hoping they weren't too far away to hear her. Within seconds she heard leaves rustling underfoot as they came running back to her. When they came to a panting halt in front of her she beamed as she spoke "he moved, twice. I felt it. He flexed his fingers."

Hermione bit her lip "Joanna, that can happen sometimes" she started.

Joanna cut her off "no" she said obstinately "he moved, I felt it. I didn't imagine it or make it up. Will you just check?" Hermione hesitated and glanced nervously at Harry. Eventually she knelt down beside Joanna and took Remus' other hand, feeling for a pulse. Her eyes widened and she stared from Harry and Joanna. "He's alive, isn't he?" Joanna demanded.

Hermione nodded "just" she whispered. She turned to Harry "send your patronus to Molly. We need her and Poppy if possible." Harry nodded and sent his stag off into the fog that was falling around them. Hermione gently moved Joanna away from Remus and began work on bringing him back to consciousness.


	23. Chapter 23

"Joanna Black; Order of Merlin, First Class" A cheer rang out, breaking Joanna out of her thoughts and making her glance at the crowd of eager faces in front of her. She scanned the crowd for a familiar face and sighed. Beside her Kingsley shook her hand and leant forward slightly "try and enjoy this Joanna" he intoned in his deep voice "Remus wouldn't want you to be moping on a day like this."

She forced a small smile "of course he wouldn't," she replied "he was always far too noble to welcome such self pity." She nodded at Kingsley and threaded her way through the crowd towards the Daily Prophet reporter waiting for her. He had already interviewed her and seemed keen to remind her of their previous meeting, despite it having occurred mere hours after the final battle, with a lecherous smile and eager eyes.

The interview went by both all too quickly and all too slowly for Joanna. Just as she was beginning to think of a witty remark to cut the interview shot when the reporter tucked his quill into his jacket pocket "I think that's about it Miss Black, unless…" he raised an eyebrow suggestively at her and Joanna suddenly felt more nauseas than she had all day.

"Unless what?" She asked, hoping that she was merely mistaken in what his tone suggested.

He reached for her hand and rubbed his thumb on her palm "unless you wish to continue somewhere more, er, private?"

Joanna shuddered and pulled her hand from his, eyeing him with distaste. "I have other plans" she told him coolly, making to move around him.

He snorted loudly "still consorting with those beneath you?" he sneered "you could socialise with anyone in the entire wizarding world and you still chose a half breed?"

_Keep calm_ she told herself "Remus is twice the man you'll ever be" she told him hotly, barging past him and feeling a jolt of satisfaction when she heard a yell followed by a splash. Ginny appeared by her side, grinning in a way that told Joanna all she needed to know. "Thank you" she said as they reached the floo gates. Ginny shrugged and waved cheerfully, heading to the feast Mrs Weasley had prepared for them all back at the Burrow. Joanna grabbed a pinch of floo powder and called out her destination, hoping that when she arrived her day would finally improve.

"Is there any improvement?" She asked as soon as she arrived. Poppy looked up from her notes and smiled kindly at Joanna. It had been a month since the final battle and Joanna had diligently visited every day, despite lack of improvements in the first few weeks. Now, with the odd exception of one of the older Order members, Joanna was the only visitor Poppy saw.

Poppy said nothing but simply led her upstairs. This immediately put Joanna on her guard. Normally Poppy was only too happy to go over her notes from the past twenty four hours and discuss at length even the smallest change and the implications of it. Silence was not what Joanna was used to, and it made her feel scared.

"Good afternoon Joanna"

She screamed. Looking back later she would be bashful about her response when all the others laughed about it and teased her but she was not expecting the sight before her when Poppy finally let her into the room. "Remus?" She turned to Poppy "you never said anything when I called this morning," she accused.

Poppy blushed and nodded "he made me promise not to" she admitted "he wanted to surprise you when you visited" she looked at Joanna and realised that she was no longer being paid attention to. "I'll just leave you two alone" she told the room, seeing as Remus and Joanna wouldn't have noticed if she'd set fire to herself at that moment in time.

"I visited" she finally said, suddenly feeling unsure of what to do.

Remus nodded and smiled at her "I know," he replied "Poppy told me you'd be annoyed that I'd woken up before you got here. I hope you don't mind too much" he teased gently.

"I'm just glad you're finally awake" she told him "I've been so worried." She slowly edged towards him. She knew she was blushing and hated herself slightly for it. This was in no way what she imagined their reunion to be like.

He smiled as she finally stood in front of him. He cupped her cheek in his hand and she closed her eyes, relishing his warm touch. He ran his hand down her arm, smirking slightly as she shivered at his fingertips tickling her skin, and led her to the bed.

"I understand there's a party at Molly's tonight" he said, idly tracing patterns on her arms.

She shrugged "I doubt I'll be missed" she said

"Poppy will make you go" he warned her

She grinned impishly at him "not if I lock the door using a personalised sticking charm"

"Smart arse"

"I learned from the best" she retorted, sticking her tongue out at him.

Later on when Poppy came back upstairs to check on Remus and bring Joanna to Molly's with her she found the door locked. She tried the usual spells to find it still stuck. "Personalised sticking charm" she whispered to herself "same old Remus" she cleared her throat loudly and knocked at the door. "I'm going to Molly's house now" she said, smiling as she heard the low murmur of Joanna's voice halt, "if there's any problems send your patronus."

Remus told her to have a good time and silence fell. As she descended the stairs Poppy heard Joanna ask him "do you think she knew I was still here?"

"Oh I knew" she called back up the stairs, chuckling to herself as she heard Joanna's shocked gasp.


	24. Chapter 24

"So, deputy Prime Minister, am I supposed to curtsey every time you walk into the room now?" She said, smirking and curtseying teasingly.

Remus shook his head and chuckled. "Not quite" he said, pulling her up again, "but I did have a kissing clause worked into my contract…"

Joanna looked offended and pushed his shoulder "if I'd known such power would go to your head!" Remus watched her, wide-eyed and worried. Joanna strung out the silence as long as she could before finally breaking and allowing a slow smile to appear, immediately matched by Remus' relieved one. "I knew exactly what you meant." She reassured him, her hands absentmindedly trailing down to her stomach "and so did someone else."

His gaze dropped to where her fingers were now rubbing circles. "Everything okay?" He asked apprehensively.

"Everything is just fine," she told him, one hand gripping his, "they checked and the baby isn't infected. You're safe, they're safe and I'm safe."

After the war there had been a spate of weddings as people desperate to make the most of things and reclaim happiness in the aftermath of such devastation did so by starting families. Tradition dictated a certain order within the wizarding world with regards to families and few went against it. Harry and Ginny had been the first wedding and one used to demonstrate the new ideal most people seemed to be striving toward. Theirs was a wedding resplendent in grandeur – after reluctantly allowing Mrs Weasley a free reign with the plans – but the main focus – of both the guests and the reporters – had been on the couple. Harry, stood in his dark suit looking extremely uncomfortable with the amount of fuss that had gone into their surroundings, had instantly lit up when the building doors opened and Ginny was escorted in by Arthur.

That evening, Remus had led Joanna off to a secluded area of the Burrow's grounds and proposed to her. Evidently everyone but Joanna had known what was going to happen that night, if their expectant faces when the couple rejoined the wedding party were anything to go by. Hermione, Ginny and Mrs Weasley had immediately grabbed Joanna and dragged her off as soon as the words "we're engaged" left Remus' mouth.

"So," Ginny probed, "what did he say? Was it romantic? Harry practically screamed his proposal at me!"

Hermione chuckled knowingly "he does that when he's nervous, I remember the Yule Ball commotion…" she trailed off at Ginny's dark look "but anyway, how did Remus propose?"

Joanna blushed as she recounted Remus leading her to a darkened part of the garden – seemingly set up by Mrs Weasley in preparation – and whispering something which made several clusters of candles slowly light up, giving the area a soft glow, before sitting her down on an old stone bench and pacing in front of her nervously.

"I'm aware we haven't had the most conventional of relationships" he started, running his hand through his hair and making it stick up worse than Harry's normally was, "but I would like to believe that what we have is special. I have yet to find someone relationship wise who understands me like you do and I hope I never will do because I'd rather quite like to spend the rest of my life with you."

He paused and Joanna knew he was gearing up to tell her all the reasons she shouldn't but that he hoped she'd say yes anyway. She got up from the bench and pressed a finger against his lips, silencing him. He looked her at expectantly.

"Well as it so happens," she said slowly "I'd rather quite like to spend the rest of my life with you too" she finished, kissing him before he had the chance to say anything else.

The wedding had been simple – at her request – and consisted of friends from the Order and Hogwarts. Held in the back garden of the Burrow and catered for by Mrs Weasley. It was just after the wedding that Kingsley had mentioned in passing to Joanna that he needed a new deputy prime minister as the last one had been sent to St Mungos' permanent ward after being on the receiving end of a particularly nasty home-made curse which had turned his skin to stone.

Back at their new home that night Joanna had sleepily suggested it to Remus who had just as sleepily dismissed it. "As if a werewolf in government would go down well." He said, "besides," he continued, lazily running his fingers along her back and enjoying the way she wriggled up against him as he lightly tickled her sides "I'm content with you here."

While Remus had rubbished the idea, when Kingsley came to their house and asked him to consider taking the role a month later Remus was finally persuaded to accept after a night of Joanna and Kingsley arguing how good it would be for him to become Kingsley's deputy.

"Alright," he'd said as the clock chimed midnight in the background, "you've convinced me. I surrender. But I retain the right to say 'I told you so' when this all goes wrong."

"If," Joanna had countered immediately, "if it all goes wrong. Which it won't."

It had taken another year to get everything sorted as the rest of the council demanded various tests to prove that Remus was safe under the Wolfsbane potion – which was now available from Diagon Alley and Hogsmeade thanks to legislation Hermione had managed to push through. One member had attempted to argue against Remus' intelligence but was readily silenced when Remus scored higher than her on the initiation intelligence test.

That night Remus had been inducted as deputy prime minister. Joanna had been assured by Ginny that everything had gone smoothly as she had been unable to attend. Remus now watched her, waiting for her to continue. When it became clear that Joanna, now halfway through her pregnancy and clearly distracted with rubbing her swollen bump, needed bringing back to the conversation he cleared his throat.

"So," he said, "what are we having?"

A small smile lifted Joanna's mouth "a puppy" she said sarcastically, "honestly Remus I thought you were smart!"

He growled playfully at her and tugged her ponytail "hilarious" he returned, rolling his eyes, "did you find out? Did they say?"

She pulled him through to the other room and sank gratefully back onto the sofa. Remus immediately slipped in behind her and began massaging her back, mindful that the pregnancy was hard on her back muscles as they seemed destined to have a giant baby judging by the size of her bump.

"Actually, we're having one of each," she said as her eyes flickered shut as she leant into her husband's administrations, "twins."

Remus paused, shocked, "but there was only one baby at the last scan," he said, "where did the other one come from?"

"Apparently twins like to play hide and seek with their parents long before they're born." She told him, wriggling against his stilled hands to remind him what he was doing; she sighed contentedly when he resumed rubbing her back and continued speaking. "The midwife said they can miss twins at the first scan and then catch them on the next one. It also explains why I'm already the size of Ginny when I'm a good few months behind her. But both are fine. So between myself, Ginny and Hermione we've got an even set. Ginny and Harry are having a boy, and Hermione and Ron are having a girl."

Remus kissed her neck, smirking against her skin as a moan slipped out of Joanna's lips "and we're having one of each. Did you ask my question by the way?"

Joanna nodded "yes I did," she said smilingly, "and the answer is we're safe to do so."

"Good", Remus pulled his wife off of the sofa and led her upstairs "best not ignore midwife orders my dear. Plenty of time in bed for you. And for me."

Joanna giggled but allowed herself to be lifted onto their bed and watch lazily as her husband lit the candles around their bed and climb up next to her. "I don't think you were part of the bed rest." She told him, sternly wagging a finger at him.

Remus laughed and kissed her "well, I couldn't let you be alone up here. What would you do for fun?"

She laughed again but was quickly silenced as Remus slipped his hand underneath her top and up past her stomach. A small sigh on contentment quickly followed and she grinned up at him "indeed" she said, stroking his face lovingly "whatever would I do without you?"

Much later as the candles were running out and she was snuggled up to Remus, Joanna stretched up and kissed his stubbly cheek "I love you Remus Lupin." She whispered.

He smiled happily down at her and kissed her forehead "I love you too, Joanna Lupin" he returned "you and our babies" he rubbed her stomach and kissed her again. And then they fell asleep with Joanna wrapped in a cocoon of blankets and Remus' embrace.

**And that's the end! I hope you enjoyed it. Thanks for the reads and reviews.**


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